After almost 21 years of my father Deacon Charlie Whitson Jackson going home to be with the Lord...my mother stumbled upon a tape that we thought was lost. It was a recording of my fathers Retirement Party from the United States Postal Service. It provided me with the opportunity to see my father, listen to his deep, southern filled, accent of a voice, hear his laugh which caused my soul to smile. It blessed me to see that 66.5, 250 pound man that I loved to watch as he entered or made his way around a room like a gentle giant. His handsome face, calm demeanor and intelligence were so impressive. However, the thing that stuck out most was the way he served the Lord... even until his passing. As my father lay on his death bed, he was able to minimally respond to us. I was blessed to have the opportunity to make some promises to him. First, I said that I was sorry for ever being bad, I told him that I would finish college, I said that I would tell my children all about him and that I would name my sons (plural) after him. Although I didnt have any children at the time, the latter promise is the reason we call my only son CJ. That day...at 18 years old, I was given the decision to operate on my father or allow him to go peacefully. The Lord gave me the wisdom to ask the Doctor what he would do if it were his father...The doctor said that he would let him go peacefully. He explained that surgery would be very painful and hard on his weak body and that the chances of him passing on the table were very high. The Lord directed my path and I made the decision to let him go peacefully... I laid my head at my fathers bedside, with his hand in mine and with my head upon his chest. My mother and Dwight were there with me and as he took his last few breathes...His large frame shook the bed. I reminded him every few minutes that I was still there. When he entered into the Lords rest...I climbed in the bed and wept...my soul wept....and I took one last look into those hazel blue eyes that stared into the distance as if he was looking to the hills from which his help came...He was looking to Jesus. The nurse gently shut his eyes and let me lay a bit. My mother in law Claudine Harvey and my Aunt Diane Goshay came in to help calm me. Then my mom called my Aunt Beautiful JacqBlessed Onedayatatime and she talked to me and helped calm me because in that moment....I thought if I could just close my eyes tight enough, that I could go with him. It has been a long journey of healing for me, but I am truly grateful to the Lord for blessing me with the ability to except and rejoice where I once had unbearable pain. I am forever grateful for being blessed with a father who pointed me to God and who taught me lessons that money just cant buy. Therefore, today...I am so thankful and so happy that I was able to see my father and listen to his voice once again!
Posted on: Thu, 17 Jul 2014 04:23:34 +0000
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