After seeing a post from a woman I adore and admire, I got to thinking and then I got frustrated. I have had the joy of giving birth to four beautiful children. I carried them for nine months, nursed them, loved them, etc. This past year..2014....it was a nightmare....I got divorced AND remarried at the end of 2013 and vowed on New years day 2014 was going to be an epic year. It was. It was an epic nightmare with few breaks. I watched a man who held my hand when I was little, who danced with me at my wedding, and held each of my babies with such love...wither away and die....and it broke my heart into pieces. I watched my mother lose her rock, her love....and those pieces broke further. I swallowed my grief, closed off my emotions and let depression in. I stopped going to the gym, stopped stuff on FB and retreated from everything. Then I stepped on the scale. I am five eight, and I, as of today, weigh 208 pounds. I cringe when I type that. But I see my reflection, Im not oblivious to my size and I hate it. I hate now I feel physically. I sit at a desk all day at work and then again when I write. So Im going to do something about it....Im going to go to the gym....but Im only committing to tomorrow. Well see what happens then. If you dont like this post, oh well. Unfriend me and peace out. If you wanna hit the gym with me, you know where to find me. I am being very brave here and its scary...but I have Dawn Robertson to thank. If my pics offend you...Im sorry.....but this is for me..again you can unfriend me.....and as always..Love your faces!! P.s. first pic is August 2013.....the others are me tonight.....
Posted on: Fri, 02 Jan 2015 01:41:21 +0000
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