After walking my husband part-way to work, I turned my bike around and headed towards the gym. At the lip of the roundabout near Lidels there is a thin, busy street that leads into Gorse Hill. Houses on the right, a park on the left, and enough space between two rows of parked cars for a truck to pass through. Today there was a crow in the middle of the road, a bald, ragged thing whose raw, plucked scalp was totally exposed. It was panting, beak open, wings spread out open underneath it, forgotten as a coat. I stopped, hoping it would move. It did. The thin thing rose and wandered a little to the side where it bounced against the wheel of a red toyota. Thats when I saw that it was blind. One eye was closed, the other swollen open and marble-white. I didnt know what to do. I dont have animal control on my phone and I dont know what theyd do to crows. Besides, traffic was picking up. I left my bike on the pavement (bad form, I know, but the bird was going in the wrong direction.) I sidled up behind the bird, and picked it up. Im pretty sure it was dehydrated. It felt very hot and it did not struggle, though i could tell it was afraid of me. It was shuddering. There was nothing much to do for it, I didnt have my water bottle. I did have a granola bar (a little squished but edible) and so I gave it that. Then I let it loose in the park under some shrubs. Its dying, I know it. I feel awful. I know that we all die alone, even if our families are near us. Death is a fearsome private mother. But, oh God, its horrible to watch. I dont know why Im experiencing so many bird-related stories lately. It is not an intentional theme. It might be my location. In any case, I feel awful. In every sense of the word. There should be mercy for the very old.
Posted on: Tue, 08 Jul 2014 07:59:29 +0000
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