Allah, I am in pain. My system is in shutdown because of it. I have decided to wall off everything in order for me to survive. I dont know what I want from or in life. I had big aims and ambitions from myself but now all I find myself doing is trying to survive each day. I hear you call to prayer everyday but I don’t get up. It feels like a slow death transpiring before me. I dont fel happy. I don’t feel much actually. Allah I just want to be happy. Please make this easier. I am lost and I know I have been lost many a times and You have found me but this time I feel numb and lost. This time I am standing right before your gates and am dying this insignificant yet significantly painful death. I could change people. I used to guide them back to hope and inevitable to you. Whats wrong with me? I love a man and he loves me back but my marriage is stuck due to social problems. Allah I am tired and depressed. I brought people hope but people come to me to seek hope only none can give it to me. I wish someone could give hope. There are though tiresome and exhausting lectures I receive from people on believing in you which is ironic when they themselves are faking it most of the time. Please listen to what Im saying Allah. I am drowning this time- definetly. I need you to be my anchor. I need you to help me out of this because I am not meant to end up this way. Please help me.
Posted on: Fri, 11 Jul 2014 04:53:18 +0000
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