Alright gonna tell this story before this guy does (Phil): Once upon a time a couple who had just celebrated their 9th glorious year of marriage went to the grocery store to buy salad trimmings because earlier in the day the couple had went to a 13 week check up together where said wife had been encouraged to gain a little less weight for the next appointment, basically at this rate by the end of the pregnancy looking at maybe just shy of 90 lbs extra. In efforts to gently sway said wife to eat healthier, said husband offered to gather these salad accessories together, as a team you might say. Spending a little more time than usual in the produce aisle, wife became increasingly irritated with husband as she only had two options; to eat within the next few minutes or become more and more nauseated as this is how her pregnancies tend to progress. Couple gets to check out where wife knows husband will choose self check-out in order to feel a little more like a man, similar to not-asking-for-directions disease. Wife attempts to speed things up by husband reading aloud code numbers for fruits and vegetables while she enters them on the keypad. Wife becomes increasingly re-irritated as she places each item in as the electronic female voice yells, the bagging area because wife realizes that husband has gone a little lets say bananas with his produce choices and even doubles up on a few items. But wife is a patient wife and she chooses to exit the grocery store without causing a scene. Immediately upon entering the parking lot wife tells husband that he is no longer allowed to be left alone in the produce area, he no longer wears that hat. As a lovely 9 year marriage quickly nears its end, dear husband claims no responsibility in said produce choices. He had no idea where give or take 90% of produce came from, couple quickly returns to grocery store found their original cart still intact with all agreed upon produce items and returned someone elses selections with much sincerity. The End. Happy Anniversary Phil, were still married!
Posted on: Fri, 16 Jan 2015 01:16:43 +0000
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