Am I the only one?! My childhood was fraught with worries. The space program threatened all of humanity with horrible disease possibilities from microbes that had somehow learned to flourish without oxygen or any other appreciable atmosphere. I know this because I heard my mom speaking to her sister over the phone. I dare not ask for clarification, because I was not suppose to be eavesdropping, and no doubt the clarification would be too much for my developing psyche. I already knew too much. On top of that, Israel was at war, and this was sure a sign of the end times. End times! You know, time was coming to an end. At five years of age I had only just begun and it was over. Streets of gold would be nice enough, but I was not tired of playing in the sand! I pondered these things while I was putting socks over the puppys head, or singing into the fan. They were perplexing certainties, that I would have to deal with soon! I did not want to be unprepared. The dread of those possibilities followed me into my school years and around the 7th grade they finally culminated in a manner. I had been on the outs with a classmate for several days. We had finally had enough of each other. It had come time for combat and we were to meet after school for a determination of something. Im not sure I knew then what that something was, but, a blood letting was necessary. We werent necessarily angry at each other, but something had to be done or we would both loose face. There are worse humiliations than getting your butt kicked. Just after lunch, when normally we would be treated to a brief read from Tom Sawyer or Huck Finn the teacher instead shared with us a tale from News Headlines. It seemed People were picking up a strange passenger, who it was said bore a striking resemblance to the European produced pictures of Jesus! He would thumb a ride, give a warning of Jesus soon return and then disappear from a moving auto without so much as a brief shriek. I could feel the blood draining from my face. I was chilly on the inside. It had tarried for a few years, but was now upon us all. I was pretty sure I was undone. I had that day planned to meet and pummel a fellow human being who I was fairly sure was in better standing with Almighty than I . After a few minutes, I made my way to the teacher and ask if I might be allowed to call home. I was feeling rather ill, and the murmur set up by all the students more righteous than I was not helping. I needed time to think. You do look a little pale, I was told, go to see the Principal. While I waited for my ride, sitting on the bleachers, my temporary nemesis, approached. Im thinking maybe fighting is not the thing to do, he said. Damn! He had beat me to repentance! I think you are right, I replied. When my Grandfather, arrived to pick me up, (Mom was not available) and this very sweet ancient man of sixty, seemed a bit miffed at the inconvenience. I guess he had not heard the news. And, while I was concerned for his soul on account of his attitude, I was not gonna be the one to break it to him. Rumors abounded. We went to see the cross that appeared in a church window when the light struck it just right, and sure enough there it was. Every evening when the sodium light in the parking lot of the church, flickered to life, there was this sort of cross like glare, a clear indicator of our Saviors imminent return. For years I walked around feeling as though I was plugged into a power meter box. I still believe in the return of Jesus. I dont know when that will be. But, life has taught me, that I dare not trust in my ability to walk a line to make heaven. When I do, it will be due to Gods own grace, non of my own. ;-)
Posted on: Thu, 11 Dec 2014 01:44:54 +0000
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