Amy was going away tomorrow. Tom would have given both arms for it to be otherwise. What was he going to do without her? The Long Goodbye, they called it, this disease, or this chemical imbalance, or whatever the hell they were calling it this week. Tom had no idea what was making this happen, even though he had borne her to doctor after doctor, had worn his eyes out searching all the literature. He had learned nothing useful, nothing that could keep Amy from disappearing. He couldnt say just when it had begun. At first, it had been little things, just silly seeming at the time. Once he had come across her in the kitchen, holding a water glass under the whirring blades of the electric can opener. Amused, he asked what she was doing. She looked at the glass in her hand and shook her head with an embarrassed smile. Guess Im just woolgathering, she replied. She was in the middle of preparing dinner for the two of them and the kids, who would be there any minute, and it was easy to see how she might have become distracted, Tom thought. They laughed together at the absurdity of the moment. But then, there came a day, not long after that, when Tom came home from work and found her wandering from room to room, obviously searching for something, wringing her hands with tears of frustration in her eyes. Wheres Ebony? she wailed when he asked what was wrong. I cant find her anywhere. She must have got out when I wasnt looking. Oh God, if anything happens to her... Ebony was the name of the black Siamese mix that had shared their home for fourteen years before succumbing to advanced age and kidney failure. Shocked to his core, Tom managed to calm her and bring her back to the present. That had been the beginning of the consultations with an endless procession of doctors and an ever changing, never ending parade of medications, none of which made any difference. As the days evolved into weeks and months, Amy simply slipped farther and farther away, while Tom could only watch in sorrow and helplessness. As the illness progressed at a grinding, relentless pace, Tom took early retirement, giving over his life to her care, never deeming it an imposition; it was just what he had to do. In those months, as she slid farther and farther away, he found himself more fiercely drawn to her than ever, reluctant even to sleep until he could no longer hold it off, lest there be something she might need from him. Now, though, his own health was faltering, and very soon, he wouldnt be able to take care of her simplest needs on a full time basis. The house would have to be sold, along with anything else of value, in order to cover both his and her medical expenses, and Amy, even though the very idea killed him, would have to go to a care center. Tom knew, of course, that the care center was only a couple of miles away, that he would be able to visit her every day. Still, it meant that they wouldnt be together anymore, not really together. All these years forty-seven of them, to be exact, with never more than a few days apart, and it all comes down to this, Tom thought, each of them in their own prison. What remained of Amys belongings were carefully packed in three suitcases standing by the front door. Tom could hardly look at them, knowing what they meant. Amy was going away tomorrow.
Posted on: Sat, 17 May 2014 18:06:34 +0000
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