An anonymous visitor to griefbeyondbelief.org writes looking for advice: My daughter is enrolled in a preschool by our house. This morning when I dropped her off there was a note in her mailbox that informed me that one her classmates mothers had experienced a late third trimester miscarriage and which attached a note from the family. The family explained that they had told their daughter that her sibling now lives in the sky with the stars and the moon. The note stated that they had not told her that her sibling had died and asked that we ensure that our children not correct their daughter when she talks about this experience and not mention death. My heart goes out to this family and I feel awful about what they have experienced, but how do I speak intelligibly to my daughter about this matter if she raises it? My daughter is 2 and a half and I have told her on a number of occasions that everything living dies and that death is just like before birth (i.e., nonexistence). Frankly, it would make me feel dishonest to back up these parents beliefs and potentially set my daughter up for future cognitive dissonance (e.g., why does her sibling get to go to the stars, but grandpa ceases to exist). While my daughter is pretty sharp, I do not think that at her age that we can explain to her that we do not believe that to be true, but she needs to not contradict her friend if she says that it is true. Any advice would be appreciated. Your thoughts?
Posted on: Wed, 22 Oct 2014 16:25:09 +0000
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