An open letter to all fathers not with the mothers of their children (and vice versa): So you have a child (ren) with a person you are not married to? You are not alone rest assured. There are many two family homes in this world, your life is not much different than those many, I promise. So you have your child (ren) every other weekend, or whenever your work schedule allows, if at all? Meaning you work fulltime? This may be a surprise to you, but the mother/father (a person you once loved, and cherished for many years), has a fulltime job (sometimes 2 of them! oh and school) too, and comes home every night to that wonderful child (ren) you two made with love not too long ago. So when you get home from work and prop your feet up and eat your take out, the other parent is cooking dinner, helping with homework, folding tiny little clothes because we all know kids go through clothes like crazy, listening to the kiddos woes of the day and settling arguments with best friends that seems silly but means the world to them. Did I mention the after school activities...while you sleep in on your Saturdays the other parent is getting ready for softball, football, being snack parent or team parent. Making sure you are the loudest person on the bleachers because they have to make up for being the only person there to cheer that baby on. You notice your paychecks are smaller because your child support comes out, little do you realize that that child support goes towards feeding that hungry growing kiddo(kids), the grocery store trips you dont have to take and fight through saying no when asked every isle if they can have something. That money also goes towards child care, because believe it or not the other fulltime working parent has to scramble on days when there is no school and pay for a sitter, or the sick days. When you go to work you hate your commute dont you? Well just remember, you dont have to drive an additional 45 minutes to drop off anyone for school. If you step back and see all the time and energy spent on the other parent doing a heck of a job raising that kid(s), you would be exhausted right? Have you ever thought that doing something extra...not just money, but anything extra would be nice? Is being nice to the other parent so hard? After all, let’s be realistic, if you help your kiddo(s) out, which would mean the other parent would reap some sort of benefit from it, right? Be it you taking them an extra day, or helping pay for some other sport. The thought of helping out that parent who broke your heart is repulsive to you isnt it? So in the end, who really loses? Certainly not the other parent, because they will continue to keep on keepin on, and have to explain to the kiddo(s) why they cant do certain things. So again, while you are out avoiding all the tough parenting choices, getting to sleep in, and go out for drink with your friends, the other parent gets to wake up every morning, walk into a room with a sleeping angel and kiss them till they wake up for school. That other parent gets to see them make the winning catch in a game, bring home that “A they worked so hard for, hear the endless giggles. So because you cant step back, see that the person you loved for so many years, had a child (ren) with, had plenty of memories with is still that person, and still needs help raising that child (ren), could use an extra hand at driving to and from practice, or you know what, that extra Hey, let me pay that phone bill, one less thing for your mind to be off of. It is really not about money, or revenge, or making one’s life miserable. It is about that (once) tiny human you both brought into the world and vowed to move the ends of the earth for, regardless of what is happening in your own personal life. That is what a parent is, right? A selfless and loving person no matter what is thrown at them.
Posted on: Mon, 08 Sep 2014 19:23:22 +0000
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