An open letter to our entire Friends of Triangles Community: This Saturday 11/15, I am making fundamental (and overdue) changes to the focus of the November party and theme going forward. Effective immediately, I have RETIRED the contest. For good. There will NOT be a contest to determine one “winner” over others. There will NOT be a “pageant” ceremony like there has been in the past. The Miss Friends of Triangles competition has been ELIMINATED. When I first started the Miss Friends of Triangles pageant four years ago, the competition that it created was friendly and fun – at first. But each successive year this goodwill “vibe” has faded. Because these November events are not like Miss America – or even Drag Race – some have criticized the event. It’s confusing, and unfair. The point is this: I dislike the emphasis on the Pageant being a competition, with a narrow focus on “winning,” or on the idea of singling out people based on what for all intents and purposes is an amateur popularity contest. Four years later it’s apparent to me that I am upsetting people I care about. And maybe I am upsetting people who havent yet been to the parties. I would hate that any one of my party themes would be a dealbreaker. My idea of a pageant was NEVER that it should be Miss America, or Drag Race. My idea of Miss Friends of Triangles was so far from the concept of a pageant that it likely frustrated some people – including me! For that, I apologize to anyone I offended. Winning a contest based mostly on superficial merits or very subjective factors is the OPPOSITE of why I started these parties nine years ago. It’s also why I think they have lasted for nine years (and hopefully counting). Because they celebrate ALL OF US, and not by singling out any one person above others And I think eliminating the contest reflects more accurately the spirit of Triangles, and Friends of Triangles, and any of my events, and reflect better who I am as both a hostess, and as a person. The theme is STILL “Pageant” or “Beauty Queen.” But “Miss Friends of Triangles” now is a group celebration of ALL OF US - as an entire community. Ask anyone about the Triangles parties who have attended and usually the feedback is very positive. Words like “inclusive,” “friendly,” “safe,” and “community” are often the buzzwords that rise to the top when my parties are described. Ask anyone who knows me or has met me: the last thing I’d ever want to do is alienate anyone – and I mean ANYONE – from my events. Being exclusive instead of inclusive, or being close-minded instead of open-minded and open-hearted, is against my nature as a transperson and as a human being – and it goes against the spirit of the Triangles parties. It’s hypocritical for me to say that the parties are welcome to all and that anyone who attends – in any form of gender expression – is welcome… but then to flip it on its ear and frame one of our parties to be attended as a competition, where one person “wins” or “defeats” others. In summary: my idea of a Pageant will be IN NAME ONLY. At my Pageant we are ALL winners. We are ALL celebrated for being who we are. We celebrate being able to expressing our gender, our true selves. We celebrate our courage, our strength, and our value and worth as a community of friends and allies, new and old. Everyone that reads this can be counted as an ally, as a Friend of Triangles. Anyone who sees my emails, or who one day will make the trip to Danbury and join us at an event for the first time. If I had enough time and resources, I’d buy ALL of us tiaras! Because we are all deserving of accolades for being who we are, and for celebrating what makes us who we are at Triangles each and every month. So let’s have our own new and special kind of pageant this weekend… and help me continue to shape the experience and our community into something bigger than any one of us, in the most positive and most compassionate ways we can. This weekend, and beyond! Love and light to you all. Tiffany Leigh Hostess & Organizer, Friends of Triangles
Posted on: Mon, 10 Nov 2014 18:27:55 +0000
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