And again, this doesnt work for many Aspies. In my opinion, the Aspie Golden Rule would be more like Treat people as you have gathered they would like to be treated. Talk to people the way that they seem comfortable talking to others. If I treated people the way I would like to be treated, they would probably think I dont care about them, because I would give them a lot of space, and I wouldnt ask them personal questions about things they are dealing with, unless they opened up to me on their own. And talking to them the way I would like to be talked to also causes problems, because typical people want niceties. They want small talk. They want sugarcoating (even though they will state the opposite). They dont really want to know if you think someone elses cooking is better than theirs, but they ask so that you will give them the energy-boosting answer they want. But most Aspies dont want any of that. We want to be spoken to honestly, directly, and logically. We welcome praise, only if it makes sense, and we feel its deserved. Baseless flattery makes us suspicious and annoyed. So, if I made it a practice to treat people the way I want to be treated, and talk to people the way I would like to be talked to.... wait a minute, I do! LOL, that explains why people find me so friendly and funny at first, but hard to form and maintain friendships with. But its hard to talk like they do... to interact with the world and with other people the way they do. Its draining and anxiety-producing. Yet, I do like having friends. I just like having friends who get it, and can somehow tell when to slow or stop nudging me forward, and out of my bubble. Either they know how it is, because they are like me... or its because they want to understand me and be my friend... I appreciate friends that understand that I need my bubble, but dont need to hide in it all the time, even if I am most comfortable doing that. Well... this post certainly turned into a tangent. I am not surprised by this! LOL
Posted on: Sun, 09 Nov 2014 02:51:14 +0000
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