And you think you have problems ! The other night , i looked around , and saw something out of the corner of my eye . Thought it was a Gecko . That had wandered into my house . So I like geckos and didnT pay no never mind . . A minute later I got up from my chair ( I was watching TV at the time and had just put my son to bed ) I looked back , and behind my chair was a spider the size of your hand . Well I took off my trusty Flip Flop and slowly moved the chair . Just when I was ready to give it a life ending smack . It took off . I mean that sucker was fast . he went behind the couch . Now the war is on . I know I will never be able to go to sleep with that thing running around . Oh, and the little wife is gone on a shoot , for the TV station she works with . So I try to wake my son up , all the while never taking my eye off where I think that monster is . My son does not awaken easily . So finally he is up . I give him the other Flip Flop and tell him when I flip the couch kill it if it runs his way . I flip it , and nothing . Am I seeing things . I think not . Now it has turned into a search and destroy mission . So now the Living room is starting to look like some kind of robbery , gone bad . Just about that time my son yells There it is and it is a big one No shit im thinking . So I do my best stealth Ninja attack and nail that sucker by the front door . I tell my son You know , it looked smaller than I thought it was . So I put my son to bed again , and start putting the house back together , When once again , I see something out of the corner of my eye . So being a big strong man , I yell for my son again to man the other flip flop . And the chase is on . Once again the furniture . goes every which way . So we get the spider cornered . I son yells , It is bigger than the other one . Yep , and I think it is pissed off . I dont know if spiders can yell , but I know I can . As I got closer , I kept thinking of the Movie Jaws , Were going to need a big boat I looked at what was I thought a got sized flip flop and it looked small in comparison to that darn spider . Mind you I have a bad back , so it is a little hard to get down to floor level . My son does a imitation of it , but you get the idea . So with fighting the fear to just run like hell , And yell Every man for himself The mighty Casey was at bat . I took a swing , nothing but air . I looked at my son , he didnt know to laugh or cry at what a pathetic swing that was ( couldnt tell you if I kept my eyes open or not ) You know with all the spider body parts flying around . Didnt want to go blind from spider goo . So too another mighty swing . Nailed it . At this point I look at my so son and he is laughing at me . .One more time it is off to bed with him , and I try to put the house back in order . The next morning I awake to my son giving his mother a blow by blow of the previous night . Both are laugh at my expense . I havent slept in a week .
Posted on: Tue, 15 Oct 2013 09:51:35 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015