Another scene from my award-winning play, THE BENCH: SCENE 4: WINTER-- INCONSOLABLE The bench is empty. Howling winds sound periodically throughout the piece. It is obviously not a pleasant time to be out in the elements. A man makes his way to the bench. He is not old, perhaps the younger side of middle age. He wears a nice suit, overcoat and a scarf draped on his shoulders. He is worn down by life, carrying it as a heavy burden. He sits. After a moment a teenage girl walks to the bench. She is light, carefree, happy, seemingly unaffected by the cold. She is dressed nicely with a light wrap around her shoulders. She observes the man for a few moments and then perches on the upper part of the bench, her feet on the bench. Jules: You’re going to catch your death of cold out here. Travis: (turns to look at her with a scowl) That’s not very funny. Jules: Oh, lighten up! It’s been so doom and gloom around here for so long. Travis: Don’t tell me to lighten up. Have some respect. Jules: Respect. Hmpf. Ok. Let’s try again. Dearest Father, please button up your coat and wrap that scarf around your throat. I would hate to think of you becoming ill. Travis: (sotto voce) Like it would matter. Jules: What? Travis: As long as I can remember…my whole world has revolved around you. I’m not ready for this. Too many changes. Too many…. I’m not ready for any of this. Jules: You had plenty of time to get ready for it. Did you think I was going to stay around here with you forever? Travis: Maybe for a little while longer. Jules: Dad. Things change. Life goes forward. You couldn’t have kept me as your little baby girl for my whole life. Travis: I could try. Jules: That’s not healthy…for either of us. Travis: There has to be a way to slow things down. This isn’t right. I’ve spent a lifetime…your whole lifetime watching out for you, protecting you, taking care of you. That’s my job as a father. Jules: Every father has to learn to let go at some point. Travis: Not all of them. Jules: What do you mean? Travis: My friend from the office, Nick…his daughter lives with him and she’s in her twenties. Jules: Is that really what you would want for me? To be like Nick Jameson’s daughter? To be afraid of her own shadow? She lives with her father because she is afraid of everything. Afraid of school, of people, of …living life. Is that who you wish I would be? Travis: No. You’re right, I don’t want you to be anyone but the little girl I raised. Jules: Eighteen isn’t very little, Dad. Travis: I know. I know. But you will always be my little girl… Jules: Cuz that’s not corny or anything… Travis: You can’t be leaving me. Jules: (moving downward and sitting gently beside him –they do not touch) I know this is hard. But everyone moves on. Everyone. When mom was…. Travis: Don’t talk to me about your mother. That was a long time ago. Jules: I’m afraid if we don’t talk about her now, we never will. Travis: And that would be fine. Jules: No. It wouldn’t. I need to know why she left… I need to know … Travis: Need to know what? Jules: I’ve wondered all these years. B-but I couldn’t ask. I guess today is the day. Travis: Yes? Jules: (in a whisper) Did she leave because of me? Travis: What? Jules: Did she leave because of me? Did I do something wrong? Travis: Oh, Jules. (He gets up, obviously agitated) Your mother left because she was a selfish… (sees her pained expression) Jules, your mother just wanted something different. She figured out that being married to a settled man, raising a baby, just wasn’t what she wanted in life. She, she moved on. And her way of moving on was to leave us behind. Jules: Is that it, Dad? Travis: Is what “it”? Jules: You got left behind by mom and now you are afraid to be left behind by me? Travis: No…I don’t…I guess when you look at it…it could have an… Dammit, Jules, don’t turn this into some kind of guilt thing. Jules: I’m not trying to… Travis: There were other options, other ways of looking at this, other ways of … Jules: But this day would have come eventually… Travis: Maybe if you hadn’t been … Jules: What? Like my mother? Stubborn? Selfish? Travis: Yes! You could have looked at other options, tried other things. Jules: And then eventually left anyway. Why prolong the inevitable, Dad? Travis: But you didn’t even think about me when you were making your decisions. Jules: That’s not true! But you know, this is eventually my choice, my life! Travis: The local school here has a wonderful program… Jules: I didn’t want their program, Dad. Why can’t you understand that? Travis: I tried to understand. I’m trying to. I don’t know why you were so anxious to leave here. Jules: It was that I was anxious to go. It’s that I’m tired of staying. Does that make sense? Travis: Nothing I asked of you, nothing I told you, nothing made you care. So, yeah, I guess I do feel this was a selfish decision. Things could have been so different. Jules: But I’m happy with my decisions. Travis: And I’m not. Not at all. Can’t you see that? Don’t you care? Didn’t you take any of that into consideration? Don’t I matter to you at all? Hasn’t the pain of past mattered? Can’t you see… Jules: It would have been eventual…I mean…I can’t stay here forever. I just can’t. Eventually you’re going to have to figure out how to live your life here. You managed to build a life after Mom left us. Travis: That was different. Jules: How? Travis: I had a baby to raise. I had you. You made my life worthwhile. Jules: That’s a heavy burden to place on someone who weighed less than ten pounds. Travis: But it wasn’t like that. You were a joy. So happy all the time. So busy. You loved everyone. You were the one who forced me to meet the neighbors…all of them. You’d go running to their doors and knock. (chuckling) They would look through their little peep holes and see nothing because you were only this high! Then they’d open their doors a crack. You’d push out your hand and say “Hi, I’m Jules your neighbor. I just wanted to say I’m happy to meet you and glad to be your friend.” By that time I’d catch up to you and have to explain to the person at the door that you were just trying to be sociable. The neighbors said you were “an infectious befriender.” Jules: I don’t remember that. Travis: That was why I knew you would be just fine when you started school. I knew you would be pushing out that hand and saying “Hi, I’m Jules your classmate!” Jules: That I remember! It was funny, too, because all the boys shook my hand and all the girls would cry. So I would teach them jump rope games and “Miss Mary Mack.” Pretty soon they were my friends. Travis: The very first morning of school, the teacher called and said she didn’t know what to do with you! She thought she had the first female president of the United States in her classroom. You were so fearless. Jules: Fear is a wasteful emotion. Travis: So you always said. Jules: So don’t be afraid. Travis: I wouldn’t be so afraid if you were not going to far away. Jules: I have to, Dad. Travis: What if we could stay like this? Just hanging out. Spending time together. Jules: Dad… Travis: Hear me out! I mean…you’re here now…what if you didn’t go. Jules: I have to. Travis: No you don’t have to. Nothing says you have to . Jules: Dad…it’s already done. It’s already too late. Travis: No! It’s not too late, we can find a way, a compromise of some sort. Jules: No, Dad. I love you. I do. But I can’t stay. Travis: I’m not enough? Jules: It’s time for me to move on. Travis: And leave me. Jules: You’ll be fine. You will, I promise. Travis: No, Jules, I don’t think I will be. Jules: Dad… Travis: Don’t, honey. Anything you say will just be painful. No, please, listen. I know you don’t mean to hurt me. Jules: I’ve never meant to hurt you. Travis: But you have. (he cries quietly) Sometimes, even when we love someone, even when we don’t mean to, we make decisions that hurt those we love. Jules: I know. I thought about it. I really did. I thought about every angle. But, in the end, I had to do what is right for me. Please, dad, don’t cry. I’m sorry for hurting you. I am. Travis: I just can’t picture going home to an empty apartment. I just don’t know how I’m going to deal with having you gone. Cooking for one. Cleaning up after just me. Jules: That won’t be so much work. I’m the one that was all the work! Travis: No, Jules. You were never any trouble. I promise you. It was a privilege to take care of you. It’s just…now… Jules: You should get a dog. Travis: What? Jules: A dog. Something that can follow you around, cuddle with you when you watch tv. Travis: A dog. Something to pee on the floor and chew up my shoes! Jules: It would be perfect. It would be something under ten pounds that would make you get up in the morning… Travis: Nothing is going to replace you, Peanut. Jules: I’m not talking about replacement. I’m talking about helping you to move forward now that life is changing again. I don’t want to see you like this…so sad…so lonely. Travis: I’m being selfish. I shouldn’t be burdening you with my pain. Jules: I understand. Travis: No, it’s not fair to you. I just…I just don’t want our time together to stop. I’m going to miss coming home to watch movies or TV with you. I’ll miss cooking for you. Jules: That wasn’t easy. Travis: Actually I kind of enjoyed trying to figure out what foods would get you to eat…get you to actually enjoy meals. Jules: You tried really hard. Travis: Yes. I’ll miss so much. Even doing your laundry. Jules: I remember you bought a new detergent and softener week after week trying to find something that didn’t make me nauseous from the perfumes. Travis: or trigger a migraine headache. Jules: You did a great job raising me, Dad. Travis: I just want that part of life to end. Jules: I know. Travis: So you won’t stay? Jules: I can’t. You know I can’t. Travis: I know. Not even for a little while? Jules: Dad. Travis: I know. There really isn’t anything I can do to change this, is there? Jules: No, Dad, there really isn’t Travis: So this is really going to be goodbye, huh, Peanut? Jules: I love you. Travis: I know. I love you. (she is about to lay her hand on his shoulder when a voice interrupts. She retreats, sitting on the top of the bench again) Sabra: Travis! There you are! We were beginning to wonder! The pastor is ready to begin! Travis: I’m sorry, Sabra. I just had to get some air. It was so stifling in there. Sabra: It was a long wake. She had so many friends. Travis: Everyone loved her. She was an infectious befriender. Sabra: She looks peaceful. And so pretty in that ______________________dress you picked out. Travis: She asked to be buried in it. Sabra: She did? Travis: Yes. Those last few weeks after she chose to end treatment, we talked about everything. What she wanted to wear. What she wanted me to wear. The music. The flowers. The food. Sabra: That sounds like Jules. Always worried about you. I was afraid she was going to hold on forever because she was afraid to leave you alone. Travis: That would be so selfish of me. She needed to move on. It was time to go. Sabra: I’ll never understand why she didn’t keep fighting. The University here has a wonderful program with their training hospital. She could have tried the new chemical therapy they are pioneering. Travis: She didn’t want to prolong the inevitable. Sabra: I suppose. But how hard this has been on you! Travis: No. Not hard on me. Hard on her. She loved me so much that she didn’t want to put me through any more. For that I will always be grateful. It was an unselfish gift that only she had the power to give. Sabra: Come inside. It’s time to say goodbye. Travis: I already have, sis. I already have. (Sabra puts her arm through his. As they pass Jules, he blows a kiss. She catches it and places it on her own cheek)
Posted on: Wed, 17 Jul 2013 03:58:02 +0000
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