Aphorisms 1. The nicest thing about the future is . . . that it always starts tomorrow. 2. Money will buy a fine dog . . . but only kindness will make him wag his tail. 3. If you dont have a sense of humor . . . you probably dont have any sense at all. 4. Seat belts are not as confining . . . as wheelchairs. 5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is . . . when youre in deep water. 6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark . . to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night? 7. Business conventions are important . . . because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without. 8. Why is it that at class reunions . . . you feel younger than everyone else looks? 9. Scratch a cat (or dog) . . . and you will have a permanent job. 10. No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy (or girl?) . . . who wants to buy a car. 11. There are no new sins . . . the old ones just get more publicity. 12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m. . . like, it could be the right number. 13. No one ever says Its only a game . . . when their team is winning. 14. Ive reached the age where . . . happy hour is a nap. 15. Be careful about reading the fine print . . . theres no way youre going to like it. 16. The trouble with bucket seats is that . . . not everybody has the same size bucket. 17. Do you realize that, in about 40 years . . . well have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? (And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!) 18. Money cant buy happiness . . . but somehow its more comfortable to cry in a Cadillac than in a Yugo. 19. After 60, if you dont wake up aching in every joint . . . youre probably dead. 20. Always be yourself because the people that matter dont mind . . . and the ones that mind dont matter. 21. Life isnt tied with a bow . . . but its still a gift. REMEMBER.... POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS MUST BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON
Posted on: Wed, 13 Nov 2013 12:06:43 +0000
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