Are you in a relationship with a partner who is Love Avoidant? Signs Your Partner is Love Avoidant- 1. Evades Intimate and Emotional Connection 2. Does a Complete About Face in the Relationship -- Becomes a Whole Different Person From Whom You First Met 3. Uses Distancing Strategies to Avoid Closeness. 4. Has an Addiction or Compulsive Problem 5. Is a Narcissist or Displays Narcissistic Traits 6. Is Resistant to Professional Help In romantic relationships evading intimacy and getting too close emotionally is the name of the game for a love avoidant. Emotional intimacy is a vital component of healthy relationships. Intimacy involves allowing oneself to be known. Intimacy is about trust, vulnerability, sharing reality of self, communicating wants and needs, as well as expressing genuine feelings and emotions. When there is authentic love, intimacy is at the core of that love. Yet, intimacy and emotional closeness is the Love Avoidants greatest fear. Because of early childhood experiences, they learned to associate intimacy with engulfment, suffocation, and being controlled. So the closer you try to get to your partner- their response is not to reciprocate, but to distance and run. They are emotionally like a turtle that repeatedly pulls into his/her rigid shell when one attempts to get too close and connect emotionally. You may get occasional glimpses of his/her real self, openness, or vulnerability -- only to see them retreat once again behind their walls. As your relationship progresses, you notice a complete change in your partners attitude. A complete about face occurs. Your partner is notably different from the person you first met. In the initial part of addictive relationships, the love avoidant exhibits an illusion of intimacy, caring, and connection. They form an immediate attachment idealizing their love addict partner. They come on strong and appear charming, strong, stimulating, caring, generous, and devoted. Then the relationship moves forward and soon enough the true colors of the love avoidant emerge. The seemingly once available magical person you fallen for becomes cold, devaluing, and disengaged. Invariably, you try to give more, do more, be more romantic, or try to make things as they were. There is a pursuit of keeping the fantasy alive in order to recreate the euphoria experienced in the beginning of the relationship. And the toxic dance is in order. -Jim Hall, M.S., Love Addiction Specialist
Posted on: Fri, 22 Nov 2013 22:30:01 +0000