Around two years ago, I was sitting in the American legion parking lot cursing God, not because I had relapsed yet again and destroyed my families hope again, but because my veins were so collapsed after another 6 week run that It took me forever to get high that night. Those are the times I look back on and am unbelievably grateful Im sober today. If you read that and it disgusted you, good it should. Thats the ugly truth of addiction. If you read that and thought yup, story of my life GET HELP. There is a way out! I had been to over 30 useless spin dry detoxes without further treatment, Id done the sections, Id tried suboxone, naltrexone, the shot, methadone, even trying to switch to just cocaine when everything else failed (great addict thinking). Finally I gave up the thought that I could get better on my own and took the suggestions. I went to further treatment. I stayed in a sober house. The group of girls in Portland that God put in my life were the greatest gift besides sobriety that God gave me in my early recovery. The structure and having people depend on me was exactly what I needed. I didnt stay completely sober and ended up back in that same sober house after that 6 week run, but it was a blessing in disguise. I didnt know what I didnt know, and humbling myself and taking responsibility for my actions was what I needed. To this day, step work and further treatment in what changed who I am as a person. Im dependable, reliable, and a damn good mother. Ive since fallen away from AA after Moving back to mass and having a baby but still stay true to trying to apply everything I learned in every aspect of my life. I was a liar, a cheater, a thief, a manipulator, a horrible influence, you name it, I did it and today I just wake up and thank God that isnt who I am today. This group originated from wanting to help raise awareness of the growing problem literally in our own backyards and families, Im the person and reason Kimberlee Grace has such a passion for addicts, and whatever I can do to help I will. To the cowards who say each overdose death is cleaning up the streets, People do recover, they DO come back from this. Wishing wed just disappear isnt helping the heroin problem in your town. Open your eyes and start being a part of positive change.
Posted on: Fri, 19 Dec 2014 13:34:17 +0000
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