As Above, So Below (an honest review) When writing this particular review, I discovered an intrinsic problem with reviewing any horror movie: I cannot answer the number one question about it: was it scary? The second I state that the movie WAS scary (in the event that it was), your internal emotional buffers automatically start preparing you to be terrified. Everyone has experienced this. One of your friends of peers says that Paranormal Activity, or Blair Witch Project, or The Exorcist or The Shining, is the scariest movie they have ever seen, and then you watch it and it isn’t scary at all. Our expectations tend to buffer us when it comes to horror movies. A small, simple background on the film: The Catacombs of Paris are a real place located under the streets of Paris containing the remains of approximately 6 million people. Constructed in the late 18th century to deal with the degradation of existing cemeteries and the ever growing amount of bodies (mortality rates were a bit different then) the underground system of tunnels and ossuaries has been the setting for numerous films as well as serving as inspiration for countless stories of every medium. Today you can even visit portions of the tunnels (and I highly recommend you do) provided you find yourself in Paris. That being said, I am going push forward and ruin this movie for you. This movie scared me. With a backdrop of the Parisian catacombs, this movie set my cleithrophobia on high alert. I spent the majority of the movie feeling anxious, trapped and slightly panicky. Especially sitting in a crowded theater… in the dark... *shudder*. However, I persevered and successfully watched the entire movie, didn’t pee my pants, didn’t vomit, and didn’t automatically start eating my neighbor. In the event we are ever trapped underground, I will not hesitate to eat every one of you to stay alive. A series of questions I pose to anyone reading: what is scary? Clarification: What does it take to constitute a movie or story as scary? Are jump scares scary? Definitely in the movie. They are certainly startling. But they are so fleeting are they really “scary?” Should you be scared after the movie? If jump scares are too short to be scary, how long should the effects linger? Should I be frightened when I go to bed? I would say that was NOT present in the movie because the rules of the movie were dictated by Vegas rules: what happens underground, stays underground. Is it a feeling of dread? This was certainly present during the movie. Everyone was constantly trying to anticipate the next jump scare (to no avail). Should it evoke real life phobias? Check. Underground, trapped, lost. Check. Check. Check. But for something to truly be frightening, for a scare so intense that everyone walks out and says “absolutely YES, that movie was terrifying” it would have to threaten someone’s life. That is the only real base fear out there. All fears, deep down at the very core of our existence, is the preservation of our own safety. To that end I can say confidently, I was not scared that my life would end during or as a result of this movie. As far as a review of the movie as a whole… Meh? How do you quantifiably review a horror movie? The acting, story, and special effects were exactly what I expected from a handy/shaky (found footage) cam film. They nailed it, but that is like saying to you that you did a great job breathing today. It isn’t hard, and failure to do so is almost impossible. Even terrible found footage films are… well found footage. They can’t be great (although Chronicle and Cloverfield are close), they are just meh. Regardless, they are a guilty pleasure of mine and I thought that this film was better than most. Score: 8/12
Posted on: Thu, 04 Sep 2014 18:03:45 +0000
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