As I wake up this morning...I look over kiss Jay on the for head as he still slept. As soon there is any sort of movement from the humans, our over sized neurotic cat jumps on the bed and starts talking in some bizarre purr/vocal noise...creepy really. During this morning the family cuddle....Jay has a small seizure. It starts in his head and spine as it usually does...I immediately realize that what is happening and respond accordingly. We have quick release lorazapam in little containers all over the house and restaurant. Everyone on staff and in our family know where they are and under his tongue and it shuts it down before it really gets started....no one panics we just do what we need to do...we talk our way out of a seizure.....I am totally amazed how 18 months makes a difference in how you perceive these threat, how you react and how your level of calm over takes KAOS and terror. 2 pills under the tongue and he is sleeping again with deep relaxation music on his headphones while he sleeps. He will start his day over in a few hours. Me? I fully understand that from the seat that was selected for me in this battle. My life also walks the narrow path of the same mental process one foot in front of the other, doing everything in my power to remain balanced. On a different level the him of course. You see, when I stopped fighting the stages and learn to accept and more so, understand the emotional stages of this fight. Denial, Anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Acceptance, not, that I we will face loss. That is never an option, but that we are indeed forced to accept the fight in the first place. As I sit her alone, my day is completely underway, you can bet on one thing, that I stopped to take a mental snapshot of my life, with ALL of it in complete perspective. What I am thankful for, who I am thankful too, and appreciate that I am indeed blessed with the opportunity to help fight along side this incredible human being. His strength is unheard of. We recognize and feel blessed that he has even been blessed with the chance to fight for more time. Through all the pain and heartache, terror and darkness followed by thrills of the triumphs. I would not be anywhere else in this world this moment but by his side. We are blessed to have this day.
Posted on: Sun, 06 Apr 2014 15:11:48 +0000
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