As a child I had a tendency to act up. I was what considered super smart and yet unable to focus. It was horrible, my life was a combination of super boredom, manipulation, self loathing and fear. ( It was not all that bad, but bare with me). When I was eleven something must have happened and my informed matter of fact that I would not have any Christmas gifts or a birthday party. On the morning of the 25th my brother an I rushed down toward the traditional presents. Everyone was opening theirs, a book, a toy, a sweater! ( You get the picture).... For me, there was nothing, not a stocking, not a note or a sigh. I did what I always did, I retreated in to my own little world. I learned early on not to mention things, to keep it to my self. When my birthday came that year, it came and went, nothing was mentioned. It was odd, as if I was extremely unimportant. Christmas somehow lost its meaning that day- I did not grow up Catholic or Christian, so the religious aspect of it was never important-. Birthdays lost their meaning as well. I do remember good Christmas times before and after. But when you are a child, that I the one that stays in, and burns bright in your mind. I still am unable to mail Holiday cards, buy presents, or really get in to the Old Yule Tide celebrations. Some Christmas days have been great, dinner at my Abuelitas in Mexico, walking around downtown Albuquerque looking at the Farolitos. Spending a quality time with my brother in California, or a cousin in Alabama. The Posadas that would happen in my neighborhood- Latinos know how to party!- The most important thing I have taken from that, still the saddest Christmas ever for me: Be kind all year round, do not just focus on one day. I grew up to be somewhat of a lost child but that has nothing to do with that particular event. At this point in my life I am grateful for all the struggles and experience. They gave me character, added a bit of spice to my otherwise boring life.
Posted on: Thu, 25 Dec 2014 11:56:53 +0000
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