As a person who has experienced abusive relationships more often - TopicsExpress

As a person who has experienced abusive relationships more often than not, I have a few things to say: I am deeply, profoundly thankful for the friends who have gone out of their way to continue to listen to me and believe me, who have reiterated to me countless times that it is not my fault, that being afraid in a relationship is not normal, and that they will always listen to me no matter what I decide. I am also hugely thankful to the friends who havent judged or dismissed my decision to stay in abusive relationships or remain in contact with the person who has abused me. It is not uncommon for a person who knows theyre being abused to try to leave many times (7-9, if statistics are any kind of accurate). Hearing dismissiveness and judgement from a friend only adds to the isolation that the abusive partner has already established, and makes the person being abused feel more inclined to stay in or return to the abusive relationship since it feels like their only source of support. Finally, I am deeply grateful to the friends who continue to reach out to me in spite of not hearing from me and in spite of knowing that I have (often) chosen to stay in an abusive relationship. Seeing friends in healthy relationships and being reminded of how I do have friends who care about me in ways that are healthy and empowering has a bigger impact on me than they could ever ever know. I know its really hard to witness, and I know its frustrating and tricky and confusing and easier to say Theyre capable of making their own decisions, who am I to interfere, but its never interference. Without a community of caring, supportive people, who knows where I would be. Thank you thank you thank you. If anyone or anyone you know needs support through any stage of an abusive relationship, please dont hesitate to contact me. It is so so important to talk about this and not feel isolated or ashamed about it, and while a lot of online resources are bullshit, there are totally wonderful people out there ready with support and understanding.

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