As life goes on, it is an inevitability that I am going to lose some really good friends of mine. I will lose them to death, time, exposed secrets, opposing opinions, debts, and physical distances alike. Even though I already know what the inevitable will take from me, I make a conscious effort to keep as many of these friends close to me. I always thought that with enough effort, I could keep anyone close; I ignored the blatant fact that any true friendship takes a combined effort: that you cant force anyone to kick it with you, or expect a friend to come out every weekend. I have been that ignorant before. That stupid to believe I could force a friendship. I dont try to be annoying by any means, nor do I throw a fit when people dont live up to their word. Its yet another inevitability, so I cant dwell in it or let it rule how I lead my life. But to say it does not have any effect on me would be a lie. Its frustrating, hearing nothing at all, just static on the other end of a two-way conversation. Or being led to believe that something old and familiar can be rekindled once more; that things can be the way they used to be. I tend to believe that getting a small bite of the past will bring back those great moments, but it always ends up leaving a disgusting taste that I regret ever letting touch my palate. I too have been at fault. Ive flaked on comrades before. I am a hypocrite and at times, a terrible friend. Its something Im not afraid to confess, and something I wish people could be more comfortable with admitting. And while I try hard to be the best friend that I can be, even my most valiant efforts are dwarfed by the times I felt like I hadnt been there for my friends. In truth, there is little one can do to predict and dictate the longevity of any partnership. Life has far too many twists and turns, ups and downs. We have no inkling as to what a certain future holds, no matter how soon or distant it may be. All we can do is make the most out of the great friendships we have and hope that one day, in this life or the next, we will see them once more. I dont know what tomorrow has in store for me. For all I know, the next hour just might change the rest of my life...
Posted on: Mon, 10 Mar 2014 04:26:44 +0000
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