As much as it pains me, I can with no hesitation that my mom would - TopicsExpress

As much as it pains me, I can with no hesitation that my mom would not want to continue on in her present condition. It was until I was made aware that is complete vacant as a result of the lack of oxygen to her brain. Her intelligence is what made her stand out as an individual and without it she is not the same person. Even though she is unaware of her own existence, I know that she would be terribly embarrassed right now and I will not allow that. I need to talk to the doctor as to what measures will be taken that guarantee no suffering whatsoever. I could never have imagined that I would be put in this position and that I would come to this decision, but I will protect my mothers dignity at any cost. I know what that she would be horrified at the current condition she is in. She would say to me sometimes that if she got one way or another to slip her some sleeping pills. I was never amused, but I now see what she was saying. My mother is a member of MENSA as well as the group Intertel which requires one score in the 99% percentile. She graduated High School at the age of 15 and was granted a full scholarship to college at a time when most women neither pursued nor were encouraged to do so. She attended the University of Cincinnati as the proximity to her home, and my father, were ideal. While in college she worked in a chemical laboratory where she was the only woman. She simultaneously worked translating French documents for the University. Against the wishes of her advisers she chose the School of Education as it was the quickest way for a woman to make money at the time. She graduated in three years and was Valedictorian of her graduating class. When she took the Ohio State Teachers Exam she scored 100% on an exam designed for no one to get a perfect score after which the state had to prepare a new exam. She later obtained her Masters Degree which is the only one she ever displayed as the others made her appear to be older than she was. She gave the incorrect date of birth on her driver license when she was 25 knowing she would be grateful later in life. It is genetic in that her paternal grandmother was 12 years younger in 1969 than she has been in 1915. A remarkable feat indeed. At the time she started teaching there were students who were within one or two years of her age. She loved teaching and loved her students, many of whom write her to this day. She is one who believes that there are many types of intelligence and marvels at those who can play the piano by just hearing a song play or one who can take what look under the hood of a car and determine a problem with little effort. Even in my baby book she wrote about all the character traits one can have and how none, including intelligence, can replace persistence, the true key to success. My mother often refers to a comic strip that was in the newspaper when she was a child called, Born 30 Years Too Soon. The reference was made when seeing the things that have come to fruition in the world of technology and science that intrigue her. She said when the atom was split that it was incredible to her and she was thrilled as it was thought to be the smallest particle at the time. My mother and father were married shortly before he was shipped overseas to fight on the Pacific front. His family had fled NAZI Germany in 1937 and came to America and the marries a Christian girl and converts. She often tells me that one day she was walking home after being out and all out of nowhere she began to hear a few church bells ring in the distance and it became louder and louder and church bells were ringing from every direction. She suddenly realized that the war was over and thought to herself, thank God, Werner is coming home. She loves him so much. On the monument on the lot where my family has been buried for 100 years she had a monument placed for my father. She wanted it centered over his grave, but it the cemetery required that it be centered on the lot itself. The monument has one of Samuel Clemens poems: Warm summer sun, Shine kindly here, Warm southern wind, Blow softly here. Green sod above, Lie light, lie light. Good night, dear heart, Good night, good night At this moment, the only peace that I can find is in knowing that for my parents there will in fact be a wiedersehn. I am doing something I would have thought unimaginable, but I love her too much to just allow her to exist unaware of her surrounding and unable to defend herself. I always told her that I wanted a closed casket and she had to have one too. The last thing I would ever want is people filing by and making observations and drawing conclusions when you are completely vulnerable. I am closing the casket, mama. I will protect you until you are safely on your way. I L Y