As shocking as it is, some people really do not know how to ride the bus. Here are 10 ways you can avoid making enemies. 1. Do NOT put your backpack or purse on the seat beside you. There are few things you could do in this world that would be worse than this. Shockingly, you are not the centre of the universe and on a full bus, people will want to sit where you’ve parked your crap. I saw a lady once put a full cup of coffee on the empty seat between us. Besides making me incredibly nervous everytime the bus jostled or turned, it also took an elderly woman to say “move your cup so I can sit down” for her to start thinking about people other than just herself. 2. If you’re sitting on one of those forward-facing two-seater benches, do not sit on the outside seat. If someone has to crawl over you to get to a seat just because you don’t want to sit beside strangers with weird foot odor, then maybe you should start paying for a taxi. 3. If you’re at the front of the bus and somebody with a stroller, a wheelchair, some kind of other obvious disability or even a large suitcase is about to get on board, then you need to quickly go and park it somewhere else. To the people who prefer to stare down the people on the bench across from you in the hopes that they will buckle, verily I say unto thee… MOVE YO ASS. Post-haste. 4. Most riders understand that sometimes you can’t help but bring your kids onto the bus. Most riders are also willing to understand that they will be noisy and obnoxious, as kids are wont to do. However, we stop being a lot less understanding when you choose to ignore them. You are a parent…deal with your children. 5. If you are removing or adding a backpack or coat to your person, be VERY MINDFUL of where your stuff is going. Do not aggressively fling your bag onto your shoulders. If I had a dollar for everytime some careless schmuck slapped me with their backpack straps, I wouldn’t need to take public transit anymore. This goes double for wet umbrellas…hold them low. 6. If there are seats available, a butt you can sit on or space to stand in the aisles, then you have exactly zero reasons to stand by the doors. The only acceptable exception to this rule is if a bunch of people are about to get on and you’re getting off at the next stop. 7. PLEASE don’t get up in the morning and think to yourself, “I should fill my bathtub up with perfume and soak in it.” Body odor sucks too, so if this is you, put on some deodorant, though strong perfume is actually worse… as some people are allergic. Basic rule of thumb…I shouldn’t be able to smell you from the other side of the bus. 8. Realize that some people like their personal space. I did not get on the bus to look for people to snuggle with. If there’s space available, use it. As a person with particularly long and gangly legs, I have to spread out a little bit in order to be comfortable but I try to be considerate of others. If your legs or elbows are almost resting on someone’s lap, it’s probably a sign that you’ve taken too much liberty with the space around you. Tuck yourself in. 9. Loud speaking volume. Frequent profanity. Death-metal cranked up to 11 on your iPod. Excessive yodeling. Oral re-telling of your autobiography. I get that some of you are truckers, sailors, gossipers and from Switzerland. But sometimes y’all just share too much on the bus and it makes the trip unpleasant for everyone else. 10.Phone peepers. Look, despite the fact that I’m not some international art thief or a person with anything remotely interesting worth hiding, it is still incredibly irritating when the person behind or next to me decides to watch me on my phone for their entertainment. One time, I was playing Hangman and was stuck on a phrase. The person next to me actually said, “it’s so obvious. Want me to tell you?” As much as I love it when complete strangers volunteer unsolicited and condescending advice, I think I would rather try and figure this one out on my own, thanks.
Posted on: Mon, 17 Nov 2014 20:33:26 +0000
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