As you must have heard that the Academic Staff Union of Universities is on strike. They do that every now and then, so it does not qualify for breaking news – even if it breaks parents’ and students’ hearts. The truth of the matter is that a child knows when he enters a public university in Nigeria but can never say when he would graduate – only God knows that aspect of our children’s life. This strike has been on for over a hundred days and the Federal Government is not shifting ground. Even though this is a “quicksand” administration, which even shifted grounds for Boko Haram, they do not think they should shift grounds for some old men who are not even armed. President Jonathan wants to prove that he is a tough guy when dealing with men and women who are not terrorists. ASUU is also not prepared to back down, because they want to prove that the gown is mightier than the sword. So? When two elephants fight, the ants suffer. The latest arm-twisting move by the Federal Government was designed to hold ASUU by the neck and choke them to submission. No work, no pay. ASUU members have not been paid their September, 2013 salary. “The Federal Government has through the National Universities Commission, directed universities to stop the payment of our salaries effective September this year and since then our salaries have not been paid,” Clement Chup, ASUU Zonal Chairman in Abuja lamented. These ASUU guys are lucky fellows. The Federal Government may be saving these salaries for them and they would need them on some rainy day. It is just that when next they meet to discuss the issue, the matter of the salary would be included in the agenda. Meanwhile the standoff goes on and no one seems set to blink. What is ASUU’s problem? Simple! It is in the Good Book – the love of money is the root of all evils. ASUU had reached an agreement with the Federal Government in 2009 about money, but up till now the Federal Government has not implemented the agreement. The Federal Government would rather give you blood than money – and ASUU should have known this. ASUU wants the Federal Government to honor its word and be “gentlemen” not politicians. But a gentleman and a politician are opposite terms. It is a curious situation. John F. Kennedy, a former president of the United States of America, was accused of not doing a lot of the things he promised Americans when he was running for office, that he was going to do. He smiled and said that if Americans believed that he was going to do everything he said that he was going to do, then they were crazier than he was. Good talk. If ASUU believed that the Federal Government honors all the agreements it enters into, then they are crazier than the new Peoples Democratic Party. If they believed that, it would simply mean that these ASUU folks are not as wise as we thought they were. Every year most office holders take the Holy Bible or Holy Koran in their hands, before stream of humanity, and swear to the Almighty God to do right to all manners of people….and all that sort of noble things. Oath of Office. Then they serially break the “oath,” do evil to all manners of persons and move on as if they never took the oath. And worse still, they prosper and do not die for breaking the oath. I know why they do not die. It is a simple and straight cut matter. They never made the oath – some smart but lazy lawyer wrote it down and they took it for convenience sake and in the line of duty. You cannot accuse a man of breaking another man’s oath – an oath he did not make himself. So if they could get around this (an oath) what about an agreement? A man who has killed a lion cannot certainly be afraid of a cat. If these ASUU fellows where smarter they should have all read the book, “How to Detect A Lie” while they were negotiating in 2009, before reaching an agreement. Or they could have subjected the Federal Government to a lie detector test. Well, they did none of these and it has suddenly hit them that everything was not on the square. They have now realized that the Federal Government took them for a ride and they are holding the Federal Government in the neck. They should take it in their stride and console themselves that you lose some and win some. Their story reminds me of one of the timeless pieces by the late legendary musician, Nat King Cole. Cole lived in the time when music made sense and waxed in philosophy. In his hit single, “Straighten Up and Fly Right”, Cole tells the story of how a buzzard took a monkey for a ride in the air and the monkey thought “that everything was on the square.” Everything was not on the square, because the buzzard tried to throw the monkey off his back, but the monkey grabbed his neck and said, “Now listen Jack, straighten up and fly right, cool down, papa, don’t you blow your top. Ain’t no use in diving. What’s the use in jiving?” Oh well, the buzzard did not let the matter stop there. He told the monkey, “You are choking me. Release your hold and I will set you free.” The monkey looked the buzzard right dead in the eye and said, “Your story is so touching but it sounds like a lie.” That is where the problem is. The Federal Government may be taking ASUU for a ride in the air, but ASUU has grabbed its neck and is telling the Federal Government to fly right. The Federal Government claims that it does not have the amount of money required to implement the 2009 agreement. In other words it has changed its mind – tallies with Uncle Jumbo’s opinion that only a dead man cannot change his mind. But ASUU has looked the Federal Government right dead in the eye and said, “Your story is so touching but it sounds like a lie.” Okay… the suspense continues. We are watching!
Posted on: Fri, 18 Oct 2013 10:50:45 +0000