At this point, I felt that the Navy was really pushing at me, testing me, because they seemed to try to find the most disgusting jobs possible, leaving me at a sort of breaking point. One of my superiors loved to send me down to the Pitsord shaft, which measured the speed of the ship, which required climbing down several stories into a narrow shaft with a small bucket and a flashlight. I would then have to gather the scum with a sponge, which would take about 40 minutes, and the smell was like oil mixed with rust and water left to stagnate for who knows how long. More to the point, however, I was just tired of being afraid. I was afraid of my wife having an affair, I was afraid of losing rank, I was just plain fearful, and I was tired of it. I came out of the Pitsord shaft and said to myself, it just doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if I lose my job, it doesn’t matter if my marriage ends, it just does not matter! And then, I just started to repeat it, “it just doesn’t matter,” “it just doesn’t matter,” over and over and over. Maybe a hundred times, maybe two hundred times, but I think I did this for an hour or more. Suddenly, I started to realize that it was true, that all of things really did not matter. In fact, a heavy burden was lifted from me and I felt free and quite happy. That night I did the same thing as I had before and focused the essence of my being into that centralized point, breaking through to the dream world consciously. But this time I was catapulted through some type of star gate or Merkava, which looked like something out of Star Trek when all of the stars fly past you at warp speed. At the end of the gate, I came into a golden room floating into a golden chamber in which I was floating in the mist. All around me were thousands of angels singing the most beautiful music I have ever heard. I floated up into their midst and then in an instant, I was back. But this time, I was somehow separated from my body. It is hard to explain; I was seeing things normally except I felt as though I was floating above my body. My body seemed energized, as though it were glowing like an astral projection of myself. I was in the moment, experiencing fascination towards what I was seeing. I was seeing the same old things, the same people, but what I was experiencing was completely different.
Posted on: Wed, 30 Oct 2013 04:34:11 +0000
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