August 29, 2013 2:08 Good morning. First I have to thank God for getting through this day. It was very busy and I spent the bulk of it in Charleston. It was there that I took in the feedback on my feelings about seeing my father before I leave. What I didn’t say is that “little boy” inside of me fears opening up myself to hurt and disappointment from my Pop. So, even with so many of you urging me to do the right thing by the visit, I was unconvinced. Then I met with an old friend to say goodbye. When I told her about the post and the feedback she tilted the scales with a single question, “Are you telling me you are not going to show your father the kind of kindness you show strangers?” In that instant, once processed, I picked up my phone and called my dad right in front of her and told him I would come by to see him when I wrapped up my business in the Capital. He said to come on by, but I could sense it wasn’t welcoming. When I pulled up, a little over an hour later than I told him, I could see that virtually all of the lights were on in his 3rd floor apartment. It is a security building and he’s got to come downstairs to let me in. He won’t give me a key. When I called and told him I was downstairs. He said he was already in bed and did not feel like coming downstairs. The elevator door is less than 15 feet from his front door and the door he would open for me is the same distance roughly. I nearly drowned in disappointment in that moment and I opened myself up to that hurt, that I knew would come. I extended the branch and once again it was used as kindling. Sometimes, the right thing to do only appears to be wrong. My gut and my spirit were at ease with the decision not to see him, but it just didn’t appear right, which is why I asked for feedback. My lesson here is to always go with the feeling in my spirit, even if there is a chorus of voices urging a different course of action. Thank you all for the love, prayers, support, and encouragement. ()
Posted on: Thu, 29 Aug 2013 06:10:26 +0000
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