BACKSTORY: So a while back I was trying to buy an Ocarina cause im a Huge Zelda Fan and when I was searching online to buy one I came across this website called STL Ocarina where they sell a variety on the web. As I Went through their website, I wondered how many Legend of Zelda prank calls they must get and on a whim, I wrote this little short skit. I posted it and a lot of people liked it. So I sent it to them(STL Ocarina) But…judging from there flat response I dont think they found it too funny….It probably hit a little close to home. Lmao *Telephone Rings*… Me:..... *Telephone Ringing*…. *Picks Up* STL Ocarina: Good Evening and thank you for calling STL Ocarina: Music for anywhere, anytime and anyone, this is Larry, how may I help you? Me: Ah Yes Hello Larry! Im uhh..Im looking to buy an Ocarina. I was searching online for good sellers and I saw the STL Ocarina website through google. STL Ocarina: Oh, excellent! Well what type are you looking for exactly? Me: *Clears Throat Obnoxiously* Im-- STL Ocarina: UH!! Me: ? STL Ocarina: Im sorry..Im sorry. Before I get into that, I need to ask...you uh...you wouldnt by any chance happen to be a Legend of Zelda Fan would you? Me: Hm? Oh no no no STL Ocarina: *relieved* Oh ok good haha. Yeah sorry, its just that we get a lot of those calls.. Me: Haha I can imagine. No Im a musician, im not looking for a novelty item, I need an actual fully functional instrument for serious use. STL Ocarina: Oh ok well then yes, what exactly are you looking for? Me: Um..I definitely want something with two octaves at the least STL Ocarina: Mmhm Me: Something Multi-chambered and good for both live and recording sessions, yknow? I need something where the tones..can... echo far *quiet snicker* even if nothing happens ... STL Ocarina: ...Oh ok. Well we have the triple bass ocarina, its fairly accessible, theres definitely a lot of range and as for the tones carrying, pretty much any ocarina will do. What type of venues do you perform at normally? Me: Actually I just started performing live and I have a pretty big show coming up at a very prestigious private venue. STL Ocarina: Oh congrats! Me: Yeah thank you..its uh...Its at a...Milk Bar Club... STL Ocarina: ? A Milk..Bar Club? Me: Yes. STL Ocarina: ...I..didnt know they even...had...Milk Bar..Clubs- Me: OH YEAH, LARRY! Theyre real! They have em! STL Ocarina:...O..kay..? I just- Me: YEAH! Uhhh Its actually apart of a big festival...goin on in a town.... STL Ocarina:....*sigh*.........whats the name of the town?- Me: -ITS CALLED CLOCKTOWN!.. Actually. Yeah im playin at the CLOCKTOWN carnival. STL Ocarina: ..... Me: Listen Larry, while I have ya...would any of your Ocarinas happen to be suitable...uh...for say..the manipulation of time? STL Ocarina: ....... Me: Ill be doing a lot of time traveling. As well a teleporting over vast distances through a geographical network of Ancient Sacred Crests placed meticulously at the entrance to Ancient Temples. STL Ocarina: -____- Me: Ill also need something good for interpreting notes that can show I have a connection with the royal family. STL Ocarina: -____- Me: And Ill also be needing something that can bring the Chieftain of a Humanoid Race of Rock Monsters out of His funk and begin dancing uncontrollably to which he will then grant me the opportunity to earn the right to be his sworn brother as well as acquire an ancient Spiritual Stone Element needed to open the door to the sacred realm of the goddesses to take hold of an unimaginable power. STL Ocarina: -________- Me: I dont mean to bother you with this. I mean, I had..well STILL have an Ocarina, but I think it may be wearing out on me. STL Ocarina:....Oh really? Me: Yeah cause...it was a gift..of sorts...well actually...ah its a long story, a friend gave it to me, she was in a hurry, it dropped into a moat...so it has a little water damage...but I mean, I was still able to use it. I can actually even heal spirits with it and seal them inside Enchanted masks that-- STL Ocarina: *Hangs Up Receiver* Me:...Hello?...Hello?...Larry??
Posted on: Wed, 09 Jul 2014 02:55:00 +0000
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