BALANCING WORK AND LIFE UNDERSTANDING YOURSELF Understanding yourself and what you want to achieve enables you to live a fulfilling life. Look at your beliefs, be assertive to your emotions, assess your priorities, and plan action. ANALYZING YOURSELF Achieving a work-life balance involves challenging the way you think and behave. Use your beliefs, perceptions, choices, and actions in strategy ways to reach the balance you need. Think positively and take responsibility for your choices and decisions. UNDERSTANDING BELIEFS You have beliefs about everything, including work, life, success, and happiness. These beliefs influence your choices and actions. It is often the case the people who have a poor work-life balance have limiting beliefs such as “success must have a price”, “long hours are unavoidable”, and “a social life comes later”. Write down any limiting beliefs you hold and be as honest as possible. WIDENING YOUR VISION – Think about any assumptions you hold that may limit you, identifying new options, and develop a new vision. • Challenging your beliefs • Create new possibilities • Form new outcomes PERCEIVING CLEARLY Perception is subjective and describes the way that you see things and the way you interpret experiences. Be aware that perception is a choice: there is always another way of seeing things. Change your perceptions and turn problems into opportunities, challenges into stepping stones, and setback into “set-up” for greater success and happiness. Be prepared to look for solutions so that you will stand a good chance of finding them. Stay open and be flexible. THINKING POSITIVELY At the old saying states, “As a man thinketh, so he is”. Psychologist estimates that people think approximately 40,000 thoughts per day and are responsible for choosing their thoughts. Try to put your past experiences and conditioning to one side so that you can create fresh ideas and lateral solutions – this is known as “possibility thinking”. Be willing to let your old ideas make way for the new, because changing your thinking can change your life. Make sure that you help your team think positively rather than negatively too, because it will change the results they achieve. COMPARING THINKING STYLE THINKING NEGATIVELY • There is so much to do and there is never enough time to do it. • People place too many demands on me I cannot control my time. • I am busy, but I am not making a worthwhile contribution. THINKING POSITIVELY • There is always enough time for what is really important. • I value my time and I can influence others to respect my needs. • By being clear about success, I can make a real difference. THINGS TO DO 1. Write down your thoughts about balancing work and life. 2. Identify the thoughts that limit your options. 3. Write down any new thoughts that you have about your life and review them regularly. WATCHING YOUR WORDS The most important conversations you hold in life are the ones that you hold with yourself. Notice how you “self-talk” influences your beliefs, choices, and success. Start to listen to what you are telling yourself: listen for limiting “I can’t” statements, “yes, but” affirmations, and “if only” self talk. Make sure that you do not talk yourself out of what might be possible. Tell yourself that all effective work and life balance is a definite possibility and develop an “I can “mind-set. Adopt a new vocabulary that can help you overcome doubt, anxiety, cynicism, and tiredness. MAKING CHOICES People constantly make choices that influence their lives. It is easy to feel that you are not in control of your actions or your decisions, but the reality is that you are. For example, when your boss ask you to do something, make sure that you are in position to carry out the request and be honest if you fell it is not feasible. Always consider the consequences of your choices for yourself and others – remember that your actions do not just affect you, they affect those around you. POINTS TO REMEMBER • Changing your self-talk can change your life. • The results you achieve depend on the choices and decisions that you make. • You are responsible for the choices that you make, and you can take control of your work and life balance. TAKING ACTION Taking action is about taking responsibility for your life. Do not blame circumstances, conditions, or others for your experiences. It is your choice either to wait for your life to get better, or to take action. The extent to which you are willing to act is equal to how far you are exercising your “proactive muscle”. Developing this “muscle” is comparable to working out at the gym – you con not expect to develop strong biceps overnight. Practice creating a proactive mind-set and look for ways to enhance your life each day – then act! UNDERSTANDING EMOTIONAL ISSUES By improving your emotional intelligence, you can enjoy greater happiness and success in your relationships, your life, and your work. Recognize and learn from your emotions, be empathetic to others, and be ready to ask for support if necessary. UNDERSTANDING EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE Emotional intelligence is your ability to manage your feelings and thoughts. Developing your emotional intelligence can enhance your decision-making and help you communicate more honestly. Think more clearly, and act more authentically. Be aware that your feelings are a gateway to creativity, intuition, and inspiration. If you can manage your feelings, you will manage yourself and others better. Realize that emotional intelligence helps you to tap into your own wisdom and develop understanding and trust in your relationships. QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF • Do I listen to my feeling before I make a decision? • Am I able to manage my feeling? • Do I take into account the feelings of others? • Are my actions always in time with my values? • Am I prepared to ask for the necessary support if I need guidance? EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE – Being emotional intelligence is the key to achieving success. By being aware of your own feelings, and the feelings of others, you can succeed in work and life. • Sensitive to others • Intuitive • Adaptable • Good communicator • Self-aware • Highly motivated RECOGNIZING EMOTIONS Take the time to record your thoughts and feelings every day – they can give you important insights. For example, monitoring your thoughts and feelings can help you see how well you are balancing your work and life. Notice when you feel confident and optimistic – this is a sign that you are doing well. Feelings of uncertainty and irritability may show that you are having difficulties. Realize that suppressing an emotion only blocks your learning and inhibits your self-awareness. Try to see something positive in all your emotions. LEARNING FROM EMOTIONS Emotions are pieces of information. They are message that you can read and learn from to help you achieve greater success and happiness. For example, stress might be an invitation to change something; pain might be a signal to let go of something; fear might be a sign that you need extra help, doubt might be encouraging you to make a better choice, and guild might be telling you that you are not living according to your true values. Never block your feelings – learn to read and follow them. Noticing emotions – In below example, a manager reacted to a stressful situation without taking note of her feeling or the feeling of others. It was only when she sought advice that she understood how she could have used her feelings in a positive, constructive way. CASE STUDY A manager at a pharmaceutical company was under pressure to meet a deadline. She started working longer hours and demanded that her team work longer hours too. Within a short space of time employees were calling in sick. She started to vent her worries at home. Her husband complained that her behavior was unreasonable and requested that she leave her concerns at work. She sought advice from her boss, who encouraged her to use her stress to reach a positive outcome. She called a team meeting to explain her predicament. She apologized for her previous unreasonable demands, and she worked with her team to find a solution. She reflected that if she had recognized the signs of stress in the first place she could have been proactive about the necessary course of action rather than reacting hastily. STAYING FLEXIBLE The ability to be flexible is fundamental to emotional intelligence. Remember that balancing work and life is not just about logic, reason, and finance; it is about heart soul, and relationships. Aim to see all sides of a situation so that you are less likely to repeat unconstructive habits that only hinder your progress. Learn to be flexible so that you do not succumb to doubt cynicism, or the temptation to give up. Being flexible – flexibility encourage you to stay positive even when a desired outcome looks uncertain. It helps you reflect upon the many options available to you. BEING EMPATHETIC To have empathy means that you are able to understand other people’s position as well as your own. It ensures greater compassion, trust, co-operation, and honestly in your relationships. Begin to identify and let go of any limiting thoughts or feelings you may have that serve to block your success. Always aim to respect and understand other people’s positions. DO AND DON’TS • Do show others that you understand and respect them. • Don’t make assumptions about other people’s feeling. • Do be trusting and open in your relationships with others. • Don’t be cynical and inflexible when you are dealing with other people. ASKING FOR SUPPORT It is often counter-productive to keep your feelings to yourself. When you have an emotional issue, seek guidance from a colleague, family member or friend – someone who is an empathetic listener. Bear in mind that everyone requires support to express their feelings and then learn constructively from them. This enhances self-awareness and self-mastery – the keystones of emotional intelligence. Remember that people with greater clarity about their feelings are more in control of their lives. And if you are effective at managing your own feelings, you will be better able to support others. ASKING FOR HELP Asking for help is a strength, not a weakness. Friends and colleagues may be experiencing similar feelings to you, and talking to them about an issue can help you resolve it. Think about ways you could phrase questions so that you get the positive support you need: “I have noticed that I start to feel stressed when I have too much work to do. How do you deal with stress?” “My boss makes comments when I leave work on time. How would you deal with that situation?” “I am aware that I find it difficult to balance my work and life. What strategies do you use?” “My son is worried about his school work, but he refuses to talk about it. How could you raise the subject?” PUTTING TOGETHER YOUR OWN JIGSAW Your life is like a jigsaw: it is made up of different pieces. Ensure that you make time for each important aspect of your life – your relationships, family leisure time, work, and self-improvement – and begin to focus on your life as a whole. ENJOYING A RELATIONSHIP A poor work-life balance can have a detrimental effect on a relationship. Be aware that if you are unable to shake off the stress of work when you go home, this can affect your private life – and, ultimately, it can cause irrevocable differences between you and those you love. What do you want from a relationship: love, respect, communication, intimacy fun? How important are each of these elements to you right now? Clarify what you want in your relationship and make achieving that result a priority. Spending time with your partner – a couple schedules time together in which they pursue their mutual interests. Valuing their relationship, they have a balance home life and, as a result, are better motivated at work. HAVING CHILDREN The experience of parenthood is both demanding and rewarding. Ask yourself what your priorities are in relation to children? Do you have children but want to spend more time with them? Do you want to have children but are unsure about when? Find out your company’s family-friendly policies – these could be an important element in your ability to balance parenthood and a career. Recognize that a rich work life and a happy family need not conflict if you are committed to both. Putting children first – if you have children make sure that you spend enough time with them and enjoy helping them learn and grow. CARING FOR YOUR FAMILY View your family – this includes your parents and your friends – as your bedrock. Remember that it is their support that helps you manage the other areas of your life successfully. Be careful not to fall into the trap of neglecting your family and only spending time with them when there is a problem to be resolved. If you repeatedly put work first, a breakdown in communication within the family could occur. Reflect on how important you family is to you: if it figures highly for you, then keep renewing your commitment to it, schedule quality time together at weekends and evenings. Do not wait for holidays or a birthday before you demonstrate that you care. Question to ask yourself • How important is my family to me? • What are my hopes and goals for my family? • Do I know what my family wants to achieve? • What would it take to improve family life? • How can I show my family how much I love and appreciate them? DOS AND DON’TS • Do seek to understand your partner’s needs. • Don’t prioritized you work over your relationships. • Do make sure that you make time to have fun with your family. • Don’t put off enjoyable activities due to an excessive workload. MAKING TIME FOR LEISURE Do you allow time for your favourite leisure activities? There is a price to pay for not taking leisure time – you may experience higher stress levels, greater exhaustion, ill health, insomnia and impair relationships. What leisure activities do you want to do that you may have been putting off? What changes do you need to make to ensure that you achieve a balance? Realize that leisure activities enhance your health by acting as both a preventative measure against stress, for example, as well as a cure for it. A healthy amount of leisure can enrich your creativity at work, your time at home, and your friendships in life. DEFINING YOUR GOALS To live a successful, well-balanced life you need to have clearly defined work goals that you can prioritize accordingly. Think about your specific career aspirations. Are you satisfied in your current position or are you planning to make changes? Review your financial aims. Do you want to stay at your current level of salary or do you want to increase your earning? Do you need to learn new skills to maximize your potential at work? Write down your objectives and priorities. Prioritizing your goals – think about what you want to achieve at work, make a list of your objectives and put them in order of importance; and then set out a plan to work towards. 1. Clarify your working goals 2. List goals in order of priority 3. Plan how you will implement goals IMPROVING YOURSELF It is essential that people commit to lifelong learning in a competitive and fast-moving world. Decide what personal development goals you have. Would it be useful for you to improve skills such as leadership, motivation communication, or confidence? If so, which ones? Make a personal development plan by listing the key skills that you want to improve and then prioritized them. Find out what seminars, workshops, or other activities would meet your learning needs. Schedule time to attend events, read literature and receive coaching. PLANNING ACTION The key to implementing good intentions is to create and follow an action plan for your work and life. Identify your objectives, clarify your goals, discuss your plans with those who will be involved in them, and set yourself achievable targets. FOCUSING ON OBJECTIVES Be specific about a final outcome you want to achieve – your objective. Focus on what you do want rather than what you do not want. Think about how you will know that you have achieved an objective. What evidence will you require to show that you have succeeded? Think about what information you will need before you take action and make sure it will not produce any adverse consequences. Accessing objectives – identify an objective and then think through how you will achieve it before you embark on an action plan. 1. Clarify an objective you want to achieve – I want a better balance between my work and life. 2. Look at why you want to achieve this – I want to spend more time with my family. 3. Find the information you will need – I need to find out about working flexitime. 4. Think about the potential consequences – I need to discuss my new hours with my colleagues. 5. Make sure that you are responsible for the goal – I am committed to achieving this goal. Question to ask yourself • Am I clear about what I want to achieve? • How will I know I have achieved it? • Do I need more information? • Am I willing and able to take responsibility for my goals? • Have I set myself realistic goals? • How will I reward myself for successes? DEECIDING GOALS Having decided on your desired objectives, clarify the work and life goals that will help you reach each objective. For example, if achieving a work-life balance is an objective, what specific relationship goals will help you reach that objective? What aims do you already have in relation to children? What are your work goals/ review your current goals, or set yourself some new ones. Assessing your goals – make the time to think about your goals. Actively imagine what you will see, hear, and feel when you have achieved them and how they will help you achieve your overall objectives. GATHERING INFORMATION Before you start work on your goals, ensure that you are as well informed as possible. The right information can save you a lot of time and energy. Make use of all the resources around you, such as colleagues, a human resources manager, your friends, inspirational books, training courses, the internet, or a coach. There is no need to reinvent the wheel. Get as much information and help as you can and make every action an informed choice. KNOWING WHO You will achieve your goals if you ask for support. Identify the key players in your situation. Discuss your plans and ask for their input when necessary. Some people can feel threatened by change – try and understand their concerns. Reassure them that you have thought through your actions, but be flexible and ready to consider other options. Involving key people: Colleagues – Talk to your colleagues and ask for their input and advice when necessary. Partner – Discuss and agree your plans with your partner. Friends – Talk over your ideas with your friends and be open to new options. DECIDING STEPS It is vital to identify clearly how you will achieve each goal before you take action so that you stay focused. Break down each goal into bite-sized chunks and prioritize each chunk. The more understanding that you have about the sequence of events that will lead to an outcome, the easier it will be to achieve. Ask for a second opinion on the steps you have recognized, and if necessary, involve the appropriate people in particular steps. MANAGING YOUR TIME Identify realistic time frames for actions so that you can pace yourself, stay focused, and measure your progress. Remember, if your ultimate aim is to achieve a better balance between work and life, it defeats the object to set unrealistic targets that create unnecessary pressure on you. Establish your key objective and then do something every day, however small, to move towards it. Point to remember: • People do not plan to fail, they fail to plan. • If plans become outdated, be flexible and look for alternative solutions. • It can be motivating to tell someone your action plan. • Whenever you make a plan always take at least one action immediately. MAKING A PLAN TO ACHIEVE WORK-LIFE BALANCE Relationships – To work together as a team with my partner. Information needed – To talk to my partner about both our needs, and look at how we could communicate more effectively. Steps to take: • Arrange a romantic dinner • Set time aside for a frank discussion. Children – To read them a story three times per week. Information needed – Find out what stories my children like, and make sure that I can leave work punctually to be home at their bedtime. Steps to take: • Ask children what stories they like. • Start leaving work on time. family – To have a family discussion about what activities each of us enjoy and what types of hobbies we could do together. Information needed – To have a family discussion about what activities each of us enjoy and what types of hobbies we could do together. Steps to take: • Discuss mutual interests. • Agree on shared activities Work – To spend most of my time on important tasks. Information needed – To talk to my manager to help me clarify my role and to find out what my most crucial day-to-day tasks are. Steps to take: • Review my work tasks and priorities. • Speak to my boss about my priorities. Leisure – To have a tennis lesson once a fortnight. Information needed – To find out about local tennis coaches, convenient times for lessons, and what prices they charge. Steps to take: • Call a coach. • Schedule regular tennis lessons and attend. Personal development – To learn meditation. Information needed – To ask my friends and colleagues to recommend a good meditation course, either near my home or my office. Steps to take: • Find a convenient class. • Schedule a meditation course.
Posted on: Thu, 05 Sep 2013 15:19:38 +0000
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