BAR FIGHT I had such a lousy day that if my hair isn’t on fire I’m good. I don’t look like a girl who would be in a bar fight and I lost, yes, I lost. The couple that I ganged up on then double-teamed me and beat the crap out of me-- but I was in the right. My drink, the third one, was on the bar and Buster Enero and his girlfriend Jemima Dunlap made several smart-ass remarks saying that I had a girlie-drink so I flung it and then the pushing and shoving started. No one tried to stop it, in fact, out came the iphones. No one expected that guy, Buster, to jump in and throw punches, the damned low-life, beating up a girl. Bar fights were "good for business” said Bozo, the owner-bartender. He got his nickname from the especially creepy tattoo on his arm. My head hurts, my back hurts, and the cuts on my face, and my bloody shirt really pissed me off. Some drunks are mean-drunks--I didn’t know I could be one. My girlie-drink was vodka and lime in a tumbler so I guess it looked girlie, and I was unhappily on my way to a very nice buzz because breaking up with my boyfriend needed some drowning, so my third vodka in a tumbler was that night’s answer. I told Bozo that he was a lousy pal letting me get mauled like that and then he reminded me that I started it--and they weren’t even the toughest pair in the bar. So I got bloodied by a second-rate pair of losers--vegetarians for Crissake. I called my friend Quentin Chambers,known as Pineapple, who is a bad boy ,bad-ass, gangsta, so he could teach me some self-defense, you know, just in case--except his idea was a really big knife. Pineapple taught me sparring for a couple of days and we went to Bozo’s for a drink one rainy Thursday night. Buster and Jemima were drinking at the bar and I know they saw me. I ordered my drink and waited...and waited. Pineapple left soon after. What was I waiting for? To get the crap pounded out of me again? I had another drink and said goodnight to Bozo. My bar-fighting nights were one-for-one...more than any of my friends can say. I love telling this story to anyone who will listen but it is actually appalling. On my next birthday I will stop telling it but in my heart I am really glad that I was in a bar fight and got bloodied and bruised. It’s a really good story ! ~~ Anton thought about his loneliness. Anton is the owner of the bar and there are always a lot of people drinking and watching whatever game is on the huge flat-screen TV above the bar. He really wanted to have a girlfriend but it didn’t seem to work out that way. He had a lot of people around but not a real girlfriend. Maybe it was the very weird clown tattoo on his arm--everyone called him Bozo because of it. The name stuck after all these years and he liked it because it made him feel like they cared enough to give him a nickname. He would be alone for the upcoming holidays so he would keep the bar open, keep busy and maybe make some extra cash. If no one came in he would fix some of the chairs and tables. His part-time waitress had the holiday week off to see her family, such as it was--one sister and two nephews. Doreen had a big raggedy dog that she found about a year ago and never gave him a name--just called it The Dog. The Dog was completely devoted to her and sometimes she would bring him to the bar on a slow night and he would sit quietly on his doggie mat. People were either happy to see him or not and Anton didn’t care. In fact he looked forward to seeing The Dog. Anton would keep him for the week that Doreen was away. It would be less lonely. He thought of the very weird bar fight from a few weeks ago. One crazy girl, al little but drunk, began to shove a couple of regulars who were joking about her drink. She got the worst of it and I have never figured out why she started it and then she told me the crazy-ass lie... “Because it’s a really good story and my life stinks and it is my go-to good story to tell people about for a long time.” "Her shirt was bloody and she had two shiners, cuts and bruises. I never break up a bar fight unless my furniture gets broken ‘cause sometimes it’s good for business." “ I think I am going to ask her out. I like crazy chicks, they make my heart pound and keep me off-balance in love. Next time she comes in I will ask her out for sure. She is really outrageous.” "They call me Bozo."
Posted on: Mon, 22 Jul 2013 19:48:34 +0000
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