BOW... BOW… By Vikram Muthanna Caption: Miss America Nina Davuluri with Hanna, the adopted stray from Mysore. This has been a canine week. Dogs have dominated quite a few conversations the past seven days. Most of them not very complimentary of them but one so good anyone would want to be them. Yes, a Dog. While most of us love animals, the stray dogs have suddenly become ‘wild’ dogs hunting in packs and very territorial. So much so that they are now aggressive even towards humans and they are so many in number that they have become a formidable force and a traffic hazard. This week four incidents made me yelp like a fearful puppy. Anyone with a ‘bite sized’ child, a toddler, better not let them out on our streets and if you are a night-shift worker, you better dress like a Medieval Knight with metal-link amour, at least from waist below. Why this sudden dog paranoia? Let me explain, and all this happened this week alone. This week began with a blood-curling squeal as we drove out of our office in Bannimantap Industrial area next to Yadavagiri. And like ‘elephant corridor’ in Bandipur these two areas have become ‘handi-corridor’ as it is infested with pigs. Taken aback, we stopped our car only to see a sight one would presume is witnessed by people like Krupakar and Senani, the two legendary city wildlife enthusiasts who documented wild dog hunting. We saw a pack of stray dogs, coordinating the attack and probably killing of a robust piglet. Our office called the City Corporation, who promptly castrated our hope of a long-term solution saying, “we don’t think they are sterilized, once we do that, they will calm down.” The way the dogs were hunting, we reckon the MCC will have to hire staff who can run like Usain Bolt, grab like Sushil Kumar and fire an injection with the accuracy of Abhinav Singh Bindra if they want to make any headway. May be they should ask the Sports Ministry for assistance. As the week wore on, a friend called to cancel a meeting, as he was bed ridden. What happened? Dog attack, he said. It seems he and his son were returning after a short ride when suddenly a pack of dogs chased them so aggressively, biting at the boy’s foot that the boy panicked and the dad lost his balance and fell. The father got up immediately, chased the dogs away but soon both had to be rushed to the hospital. The father had a hairline fracture in the feet, the son two stitches on his lips. There are many such stories doing the rounds in the city now. It seems the stray packs’ numbers have increased so drastically that they are becoming a traffic hazard. And as if the dog week wasn’t over, another friend called to say that he had met with an accident trying to avoid a puppy. Not only was he hurt; he was more traumatised knowing that his expensive motorcycle, a Harley Davidson, was ‘Hardly a Davidson’ now. But it seems the final assault was reserved for me. Two days ago concluding a late evening jog near Chamundi Hill I noticed a pack of dogs baring their fangs at me with a menacing stare and low growling, like I had strayed into their territory. Immediately the incidents of the previous days played out in my mind and I started looking for stones, thick sticks and an exit strategy. Strategy being climb up a small tree. But alas there were only unscalable Eucalyptus trees and few small stones around. As I moved in, the barking got louder. And suddenly with the adrenaline rush I too turned into an animal and started awkwardly roaring at them as if to confuse them into thinking I was a leopard from the hill that eats them. But my roars tapered off like a screechy school girl. Soon the dogs just sat down and let me pass. Guess the frequency of the high pitched screech hurt their ears more than the fear of being pelted with stones. This confrontation with the dogs that had brought out my animalistic aggression to the fore when I roared like a lion (but sounded more like a strained meow), I had stared them down like a tiger (but I’m sure I looked like a petrified virgin on her first night) and I had run like a gazelle (but of course, more like someone who needed to find a toilet soon, before he pooped his pants in fear) so I wanted to know which one I was, truly. So I went to guruji, the one who everyone goes to for answers these days – ‘Googleji.’ And viola I was taken to a website: animalinyou, where, after answering a few questions, it would “Discover your animal personality.” Confident that I belong to a big cat family, after all I am a Kodava, a warrior race, I answered all the questions… it turns out…I am…a porcupine! Unscientific test, I declared but then it said the test was based on the best selling book ‘The Animal in You’ by Roy Feinson. I took the test again, this time more carefully and I clicked “find my animal.” I heard a loud burst of laughter go off over my shoulder. My wife was in splits as the screen read, “you are a swan.” A swan?! I might as well have dressed like a dainty lady boy and flightily tippytoed to the next gay festival. Roy Feinson sucks. I didn’t take the test again. But may be Feinson is right. After all, the test supposedly explores how biological and social pressures conspire to form our personalities. So may be I am a Porcupine — thrifty, practical and cynical. But as I read the Page-9 of Thursdays Star of Mysore, forget Tiger, Porcupine, Swan or Unicorn…I wanted to be a Dog. Why? Well, people in this country dream of going to the USA but it was reported that a stray puppy rescued by the staff of Windflower Resorts at the foot of Chamundi Hill, was not only taken to USA by an American guest but was adopted by Miss America and is now featured in a PETA advertisement, warming himself on Miss America’s bosom. Now that’s a Slum Dog Millionaire ! Interestingly, like a typical American desi the stray pup ‘Hanuman’ changed its name to ‘Hanna.’ They say every dog has its day so if you see a mangy looking middle aged man yelping and running in and around Windflower Resorts, don’t you’ll dare call out “Vikram.” I will ignore you…unless of course you hold a foreign passport and have a beauty queen waiting to adopt a ‘mangy’ creature. Who knows maybe I’ll be rechristened as Victor and will soon be warming my bottom on Miss America’s lap or even better resting my cheeks on a warm pageant worthy bosom. But for now, no one is being spared by the stray; from piglets to children, from late night workers to morning joggers. The main reason is the lack of seriousness in pushing the sterilisation programme by the government. They need the help of NGO’s in this regard but since the government does not pay them on time so they have had to slow down their efforts. Adding to the menace is the bad habit of some who feed stray dogs regularly at a set location making them territorial and aggressive. The increasing stray menace in city is a serious matter. They are everywhere. They are on the roads, in front of our homes, inside restaurants, inside prestigious Clubs, inside parks and even inside government offices…no pun intended. Citizens of Mysore are slowly being held hostage to stray dogs. They rule the streets now. May be instead of a tourist city, our leaders can soon promote Mysore as ‘stray adoption city.’ Or may be we can tie up with a Chinese meat dealer… we hear they love bow-bow meals back there. e-mail:vikram@starofmysore
Posted on: Sat, 21 Jun 2014 14:45:52 +0000