Barack Obama: How’s it going at the press conferences, Jay? Jay Carney: Boss, they’re killing me in there. You gotta give me something more to work with here. My former colleagues are laughing at me. BO: Well, hell, just tell them I’m outraged and we’ll get to the bottom of it… JC: Boss, we used that one on the IRS scandals and it didn’t go over well… BO: Maybe we should just let Kate Sebelius go before Congress and she could like, you know, take the Fifth…. JC: Been there, done that, Boss. Remember Lois Lerner? BO: Oh, yeah, forgot about her…how’s she doing these days, anyway? Was she able to get back on with the Federal Election commission? JC: Uh, no, Boss…. BO: Okay, well….how about we claim executive privilege? You know, like we did with Holder on Fast and Furious? JC: No, Boss, that wouldn’t be a good idea. There’s still people mad at us about that one. And we really can’t say that health insurance involves national security. No, executive privilege wouldn’t be a good idea. BO: Hmmmm. Jay, you’re not making this easy for me. JC: Sorry, Mr. President. Any other ideas? BO: I got it. Yeah, this is good. Here’s the ticket. Blame it on the video. JC: The video, sir? BO: Yeah, blame the whole thing on a video about the Prophet. That’s the way we should go on this. Say the Republicans did a video, you know, something obscene on YouTube, about Allah. That worked on the Benghazi thing. And then say the whole thing is a manufactured crisis. It is isn’t real. Videos and Republicans. That’s what the playbook says always works….I really liked how the video worked on the Libya thing… JC: Uh, Mr. President, I don’t if that’s such a good idea. You know, it’s not a bunch of crazies in Egypt or Libya or something. It’s the American people who are getting upset about this healthcare thing. I don’t think the video is where we want to go, sir. BO: Okay, then let’s just go with the red line thing again. You know, say I didn’t draw a red line. Obamacare wasn’t my idea. That will work. JC: I don’t know, Mr. President. It’s got your name on it. You know. Obama care. Obama, Mr. President. It will be hard to say you didn’t draw that red line. BO: Well, okay…then we have use the nuclear option. That always works… JC: The nuclear option, Mr. President? BO: Yeah. C’mon, Jay. Do like we always do when we can’t go executive privilege, or feign indignation and then take the Fifth, or use the video, or say I didn’t do the red line. Really liked that video business, though, but I agree, it doesn’t make sense to use it here. Let’s go nuclear! JC: Nuclear, sir? Won’t there be lots of collateral damage? BO: Relax, Jay. I don’t mean actually drop a nuke. It’s a figure speech. The nuclear option. It’s the one thing that always works… JC: Sir? BO: Yep, that’s the ticket, Jay. The nuclear option…blame it on Bush!
Posted on: Fri, 25 Oct 2013 05:05:10 +0000
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