“Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the LORD.” (Psalm 31:24) I havent done the Nov. Gratitude Posts daily... I wish I had a better excuse, but the truth is that Id get distracted or simply forget. Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday. A day dedicated to focus on all we have, show our gratitude toward those we love and who have given to us in any way during our struggle. Im not going to list each day at this point so I will try to summarize. Of course Im thankful for my family near and far. So thankful for the amazing kids we raise together- Thankful for a home, food to feed my family, not to mention the technology we take for granted that allows me to share with you. I thank our Troops and Veterans who believe in our country and sacrifice so much, along with their family making the sacrifice as well, that keeps our Nation safe and guard our freedom with their lives. Im thankful for my family out West who gave me a chance to really re-connect and hopefully make progress on recovery. Im grateful for your loving and warm homes and willingness to sacrifice in order to help me- Becca, Emily, Evelyn, Kathleen, Josh, Kristin, and Jennefer and getting to see and spend time with your wonderful families. And Jen and I getting the chance to plan and fulfill a dream we made as teenagers- see Bon Jovi in concert- it was even more awesome that I expected! Even if things didnt end perfectly and tension and anger seemingly destroyed the trip- now I look at it differently. I still love each and every one of you as much, if not more, I realize that dealing with my complex condition is difficult, I had not achieved full acceptance and still wanted to be the person I was- or rather be able to do whatever I want, when I want and letting go of independence and control was causing a very negative side. Cognitive problems further that, and I can be very defensive about that, as well as the confusion of how drastically Ive changed. Lastly, Im SO GRATEFUL that Im still here, with the chance to mend fences if able or at least let everyone in my entire family know that Im truly sorry for any pain Ive caused. Id never hurt anyone, let alone my loved ones, intentionally. I am so happy we made the memories we did. I thank God for giving me another year to live and learn, and I know not to take any day for granted. Most days are miserable, but when its NOT, I MAKE THE MOST of it. Only God knows my Path.. And how long my Path is. I pray that my illness calms so no further damage is done and that my Path travels through graduations, weddings, BABIES (not from ME, but the kids- just dont want to say the Gma name yet. I never know what to expect from my body, its always a surprise each day but somehow I feel as if I have a new start, and I wish Id been nicer to the old me and had more compassion and loved myself more, and been a little more pride in all I could get done in a day. The new me WILL be an improved update. I am grateful to Rob for still being here, our relationship stronger, but after all he went through dealing with my illness, hes still here. I pray this is our strongest test and life begins to make sense again. Its been a very wild few years, it sucks being chronically sick with no answers or whats next- so I leave those worries to God now as commanded and just live one day at a time, full of Gratitude for a new chance each day to be the first day of the rest of my life! Robert, Becky, Erick
Posted on: Thu, 21 Nov 2013 10:05:10 +0000
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