Bear no grudges ye faithful servant By Njenga Micugu Can you keep a grudge? In our world of millisecond decisions, people make mistakes. Mistakes are costly and this often affects our relationships. Trust is the cog that drives brand loyalty, friendships, even hiring! No one can recruit you if he or she does not believe that you are competent. Similarly, God does not answer prayers if, one, you do not trust Him, and two, if you do not have a clean heart. A clean heart in this case is free from ill motive and, surely, to bear grudges against someone is a crime before the Lord! So, what is a grudge? It is any unresolved issue between persons, whether perceived or real, that can cause acrimony if it persists. Do you then have a choice to “opt out” when things are thick? Sadly, some people love taking short cuts in getting what they want. For those who are more orderly, such people inconvenience us on our roads, in banks, hospitals, even in dating! To beat time, we lose value of patience and being considerate to others, which riles just about anyone. Yes, even YOU who take short cuts! To opt out when you can deal with this issue head on creates fertile ground for feelings of being wronged, self-pity, anger and/or revenge, which, if unchecked, can lead to apathy and disillusionment. Communication is vital in relationships. Let us revise that. Regular and open communication is a key ingredient in healthy relationships. It renews us when we are low, we feel loved and cared for when a friend keeps in touch and we all know the joy of learning something new or meeting someone new. While fate would have it that some people meet their life partners in such crises, others may let it slide or even give someone their peace of mind. The latter may point to how we Kenyans are vulnerable to violence, which is an indicator that our education system falls short of creating moral champions who can assert their rights peacefully. While rights may vary in definition, clear personal boundaries are essential in living in harmony with others. Values too are important. Not everyone is angelic in his or her step during rush hour. Nor is everyone considerate when boarding Embassava buses to beat the road snails. Be prepared for disruption. Your comfort zone will always be tested, which is a good thing. It is in times of crisis that we experience character growth. It is also at these times that we get revelations of our true friends and we review our perceptions of others. You may have witnessed this: your long time friend or partner shows a behaviour trait you would ordinarily not associate with them. How would you respond? We are all inclined to flee when we perceive danger or its closest cousin, hypocrisy. Even so, are you man enough to give second chances despite the nagging thoughts that they may have hidden other things from you? Not everyone can live up to the adage, what you see is what you get. I get that. It is frustrating when the time, money and energy that you have put to know someone comes up short. It is even more frustrating when people do not measure up to our standards. However, what this illustrates is that if we are more reflective on the way we live and how we live with others, we form richer and fulfilling relationships with others. More importantly, we become better citizens and leaders in our own right. To comment on this story, tweet me @micugumicugu
Posted on: Thu, 14 Nov 2013 10:24:40 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015