Ben Matogo: Of Book and Balls In 1975, Ben Matogo was a librarian in the Makerere University library. He had completed a Master’s Degree . And was a restless soul floundering on the reef of water-damaged tomes, magazines and periodicals. Even his part-time stint as a lecturer in economics didn’t slake his appetite for more. He was essentially a rootless bear with a nomadic spirit. Indeed, he only felt at home within the masonry of a manifest destiny. In his mind, his burning passion would set the world stage alight. He was a dark knight on horseback riding through the dying embers of a world caught in the reel of battle. Aristotle, John Stuart Mill, Gibbons and other authors had shown him the way. His home would thus be in his head and heart. But each day he sat on the assembly-line of a stultifying routine. People were dying all around him; Iddi Amin was a setting sun. And the country needed a rising sun, a new day. Ugandans were tired of the lies, the posture without principle, and the paralysis instead of purpose. So Ben decided to embody a nation’s apathy by reinventing himself. He was no longer going to be a cypher on the sidelines of history. Henceforward, he made up his mind that he would no longer cower in books. But instead tower in a life that could fill books. He immediately started dabbling in literature thought to have an agitatory effect on Ugandans. Works and writings deemed innocuous in sophisticated countries. Yet in Amin’s Uganda, they were anything but. A siege mentality had seized the state. True, there were many unexplained deaths that Iddi Amin could not possibly have perpetrated alone. It was a war. And all war is a dialectic of the will. Thus all the armed protagonists were guilty of Uganda’s holocaust. Of course Ben Matogo soon found himself on a hit list as the opera of gunfire raged. His colleagues were dour civil servants who talked about pay checks and bank balances instead of checks and balances in government. To them, he was not only a maverick but a damned fool. He had a university house and made a comfortable living. Yet he sought to jeopardize this living with a dangerous life. Indeed, he was a damned fool. He could even be dangerous, they thought. Stool pigeons soon flocked to the security services to report his incendiary words. Amin summoned him. But instead of peeing in his pants, Ben stood his ground in the face of mortal danger. So nobody could believe it when he came out of that encounter with a pulse. It was warning, however. But he refused to heed it. He was a hand-on-heart romantic. So it was his sacred mission to restore the conscience of a benighted nation. Because, to him, men came in two forms: the bold and the barren. One who is bold will dare the gods. He will choose his destiny. And hence recreate himself. Thereby become a god as he fecundates his Fate. Thus, he will recreate the world in the image of his dreams. Since the destiny of the world is ultimately fulfilled in the name of our passions. Many of us choose to be barren. We stick to the beaten path. Being too scared to live, we are afraid to die. It is an enduring motif in the history of the world that those who change the world have embraced their ultimate destiny: death. Let it be known that the ancients believed that a brave death ensured one’s eternal life. That is why Achilles fought and trumped deaths scythe. His deeds are read by all those who came after him. Thence, he is alive in all those touched by his deathless spirit. And so it was with Ben. He didn’t want to die spiritually. He sought to live forever. Life-eternal, he found, would only be achieved once he steeled his spine so as to make and not take history. What happened after he was exiled and met with his Maker in 1994 is immaterial. He has inspired me. And I will ensure that he never fades into the bookish backwaters of his former life. A life that was honorable, no doubt. But it was not for him. Or anyone like him wishing to astonish the world with the clarion of his or her feats.
Posted on: Wed, 16 Jul 2014 17:23:33 +0000
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