Biography of the enigmatic analytic philosopher Herbert Englestein, Part II: In October of 1951, Englestein started researching the nature of time and became convinced of the existence of space-time worms. He attempted to tell his landlady about his theories, but she misunderstood and recommended a veterinarian. One of Englesteins students bemoaned the lack of Eastern philosophy in classes, so Englestein began lecturing in a local Chinese restaurant. Whilst there he came to believe that the existence of shredded duck could be proved a priori but that hoisin sauce was a shared delusion. When presented with the bill he attempted to prove that numbers did not exist and was thrown out. Tiring of his quarters in Oxbridge University, Englestein fled to a cabin by a lakeside in Austria requesting that all work from his students be submitted in the form of postcards. These were published in 1960 as The Englestein Correspondences and have since been translated into Latin, Greek and Klingon. He began to think that his mind was truly separate from his body, and that his body was having an intimate affair with his wife. He caught his wife in bed with his body in the Spring of 1952 and swore at her in German. This was later published as The Second Englestein Correspondence and is thought to be one of the most profound contributions to linguistic philosophy since Leonard Bloomfield invented smalltalk in a lift in Vienna.
Posted on: Mon, 28 Oct 2013 10:34:29 +0000
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