Bismillah. In the name of God, the Most Compassionate, the Most Merciful. Without any hyperbole I am already at an acute loss for words right now not having even read the #CIATortureReport. How could I even begin to fathom the unimaginable abuse, dehumanization and criminal injustice visited upon my fellow Muslim brethren (the majority of whom were Pakistanis presented to the American government, during the peak of national security hysteria in the post-911 emergency context, for pathetic sums of petty foreign aid cash incentives all of which fully consumed by a corrupt puppet dictatorial regime literally selling its as-yet unconvicted, therefore innocent until proven guilty, fathers/sons/brothers without even a faint glimmer of hope for due process) including but not limited to forced rectal feeding, waterboarding, deprivation of sleep, privacy and dignity of all kinds, manners and forms. I could never. Yet I have run out of patience and rationalizations and cop-outs and tears. What I know is that could have been my story, if for no other reason than for my faith, my proud name, my physical profile, my familys ethnic origin. This is not only a blessing. So too is it a curse, for such a burden haunts me with the most extreme survivors guilt and the most primordial heartache of a human being named Farooq (Arabic, a judge between right and wrong) knowing the difference between right and wrong. Torture is never justified. Like anybody else, I want answers. I want to know none of this was in vain, but Im wiser than I am naive, so I shall not hold my breath in bated pause. Where do we go from here? I want accountability. I want justice. I want to know there is public reparation, exoneration and state acknowledgement as well as formal apology to the entire global Muslim community. I want to see Guantanamo Bay and every CIA black site immediately shut down. I want President Obama to honor the promise of prosecuting the architects of the worst American-sponsored torture program since the Japanese internment. I dont want to see my community members give up hope in living their lives with dignity, freedom and safety from fear and torture. I dont want to know a world in which my baby cousins and nephew are considered flight risks or worse God forbid. And why should I even say God forbid now at this point? This was, is, and always will be part of some grand constructed divine plan wherein I have even less agency than any ignorant human ego considers itself entitled to, and my only recourse is the relatively hard work of raising awareness and speaking truth to power, prayers and beautiful patience of the prophets and saints and martyrs and knowers and mystics of yesterday. Do we need more lawyers, more activists, more journalists? We need more courage, less infighting, more critical policy, less status quo complacency. Most of all, we need to recall our rich tradition and sacred history and know where the disenfranchisement of people of God ultimately leads both every oppressed and every oppressor. I ask for God for His mercy first of all and seek refuge from asking Him for His justice lest I be amongst the criminals. And yet still, in this case I must petition Him for His justice and His avenging those survivors of torture as only He can and has promised. Now no longer do I seriously expect proper returns of the rights of the innocent and having worked for the Bellevue/NYU Program for Survivors of Torture as a student at Stuyvesant High School, I recall a common theme amongst the survivors was, is, and always will be a consideration of preternatural, cosmic justice in a world that lies beyond this one. If nothing else that experience totally humbled me and reaffirmed my faith. Those brave souls who lived through the most horrific reality bore the most patient outlooks and beautiful smiles. For their sake, and to honor our brethren so too shall we bear this patiently. God, I ask from You the best in Your knowledge, so bless Muhammad and his family and decree for me the best! Inspire us with knowledge to choose the best and make it a means to bring pleasure with what You decreed for us and submit to what You decided! Banish from us the doubt of misgiving and confirm us with the certainty of the sincere! Do not incapacitate us to know what You chose, lest we despise Your measuring out, dislike Your good pleasure and incline toward what is further from good outcome and nearer to the opposite of well-being! Make us love what we dislike in Your decree and make easy for us what we find difficult in Your decision! Inspire us to yield to that which You bring upon us by Your will, lest we love the delay of what You hastened, and the hastening of what You delayed, dislike what You love, and love what You dislike! Seal us with what is most praised in outcome, most generous in issue! Truly You give generous gain, bestow the immense, do what You will, Powerful over everything. And for all this, all praise belongs to God, our success is by Him, upon Him we place our trust, and unto Him is the final return, the judgement and the reality of all endings.
Posted on: Wed, 10 Dec 2014 01:43:26 +0000
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