Borderlines and narcissists seem to be the most common high conflict personality disorders in high conflict divorces – especially in family court custody battles. (Sometimes a high-conflict parent has traits of both.) They often have a hard time sharing, but for different reasons. Sometimes they can share parenting with a reasonable parent, with clear structure and clear consequences. This often requires clear court orders. Narcissists see themselves as superior, so they often have a hard time sharing parenting as equals. There have been cases with narcissists showing no interest in having custody of the children and almost no interest in parenting at all, until something goes wrong in their lives (such as a divorce, loss of a job, loss of a new relationship, business deal gone bad). Then, to cope, they suddenly see themselves as perfect parents and want custody of the kids. Or perhaps they re-marry and their new spouse says “You should have custody.” Then, they start a custody battle and sometimes win the battle. Then, they often lose interest again and have someone else raise the child for them, such as a girlfriend or new spouse. On the other hand, there are narcissists who start out with custody. They see themselves as owning the children and increasingly have difficulty sharing decision-making and care of the children with the other parent. Sooner or later, they find something they think is wrong with the other parent and go to court to reduce that parent’s time with the children. When the judge doesn’t do exactly what they want, they often feel insulted and sometimes take matters into their own hands. Sometimes they run away with the children, so that they can have total control.
Posted on: Wed, 25 Sep 2013 17:06:53 +0000
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