Breakfast and Lunch served.........so its Brunch. Enjoy!!! #Fifteen Miss Zibaya!.........Miss Zibaya? Masimyeke xa elele Nurse I heard those voices but ibingathi ndiyaphupha. Ndaguquka and opened my eyes ndawatyikitya for better vision. I saw my mom! Ndakhwasulluka speed. Me:Mommy!! Mom:Oh mntanam uvukile? Unjani sisi? *she came to hug me so tight nam ndalala on here shoulders* Me:I miss u mom Mom:I know babygirl. I miss u too Me:Buya mama Wayeka undihugga and looked at me, cupping my face with her hands. Mom:Its not that easy baby. A lot has happened between your dad and I and I doubt we will be able to survive all of it Me:Mommy please. Mom:Nezile mntanam, theres a lot that u dont know, I kept most of the things to myself kuba bendifuna uquma ihlazo kusapho lwethu but your dad would just not stop. Im not making him as an excuse yokukrexeza sanalwam kodwa nam Im human, I can only forgive up to a certain limit. My eyes filled with tears. I could not say anything my lips were just shaking kuphuma nemifinya. She used her scarf to wipe my eyes and nose. I wanted to talk but my voice just wouldnt come out Mom:Im sorry to have to tell u zonke ezizizinto apha esibhedlele sthandwa sam kodwa ayikho enye indlela. UDr Mdange (my doctor) called me kuba endazi sasikhe sasebenza kunye years back, he didnt know that kukho ingxaki at home, I dont know what Zwai told him. Sulila kaloku sana luka mama. Emva kokuzama ixesha elide ndimane ndigaspa for air, I managed to talk Me:Mom mna I cant live without u. I need u now more than ever. I forgive u mommy. Please come home Mom:Babygirl ayiguwe ondimkisileyo. There are lots of unresolved issues between mna noZwai, that have nothing to do with u and Mali mntanam Me:But mom how are u going to resolve those issues apart? Mom:Its better this way sweetheart. Me:Wheres Lange? Mom:andmazi sana lwam. Andihambanga naye. She exhaled. Mom:Listen baby, we will find a way of working everything out ok? Dont worry urself. Just get better wena vha. I smiled, but it was so faint. Mom:There we go. Ill always love u babygirl. NoMali. U guys are what makes my heart continue beating. Me:I love u too mommy. NoMali loves u too. Mom smiled and hugged me again. Mmmm nothing beats mothers love. Those of u who dont have mothers, guys Im sorry to u its Gods will uba kube njalo. And those abangabaxabisanga oomama babo, u better rethink dears please. Mom:So when I got here there was a young man ebiphuma apha and the nurses have informed me that hes quite a frequent visitor *engencume* I smiled ngoko nangoko. Me:Oh hay mom khoyeke! Mom:come on u can tell me. I was blushing hahahaha Mom:if u dont, Ill find out myself u know Me:Hay mama! She tickled me yho andahleka. Mom:I wont stop until u tell Me:ok ok ok mom stop Ill tell I was out of breath kukuhleka ndide nditswina. Wandiyeka umama ndabe ndisula iinyembezi zokuhleka. Mna ke I cry a lot. When Im sad, happy, when I laugh, when Im nervous, when Im proud.......ndinofefe! Me:Ndicela amanzi kuqala. Mom poured for me in a glass then helped me drink. I finished, she put the glass away. Me:His name is Given. I dont know his surname yet (nyani ke I havent asked it yet) we met through Namhlas friend Sizwe Mom:Lo ka Pastor Jiya? Me:Ewe mommy yena. So Namhla gave him my numbers nam andazi uba kwakutheni ukuze ifikelele apho then we have been seeing each other for a week now. Oko umama encumile mntakabawo whow! Mom:Uyamthanda? Me:Ewe I do mommy but I..... Mom:U will be fine. As long as u know what to do and what not to do Me:Thats the problem mom. I dont know Mom:Remember your principles mntanam. And dont let his love blind your true aspirations in life. Dont rush into anything ok? Me:Ok mommy. Heee what happened to my mom? Yho! Mom:I see u are surprized. Nezile u are 18. Soon u will be living your life away from me and ur dad so I better start getting used to that. But if he hurts u, he will have me to deal with! I smiled. Mom:I have to go now child. Ill keep in touch uyeva. Me:Ok mommy. Ill miss u. She kissed my cheek and forehead then left. Part of me was glad that me and mom are ok, but I didnt want it like this. I wanted my mom and dad to be together like kudala. When we used to go to th----- My phone rang. Yho iyathanda ukuphazamisa iingcinga zam le phone.ibiyinumber I didnt recognize. I picked it up. Me:Nezi hello? Caller:Nez how are u? IbinguGiven. Me:Im ok and u? Giv:Im ok. I am at work I miss u like crazy. I smiled. Me:I miss u too. When did u leave? Giv:I fell asleep and woke up around 4am Me:Hahaha shame babe. Giv:A night in a hospital bed!!! I laughed. Giv:Ill come by during lunch ok? Me:Ok. I cant wait. Giv:Me too babe. Sancokola ke until kwangena uDr Mdange ehamba nonurse oyione. Me:I have to go Giv Giv:*whined* Do u have to? Me:Yep. The Dr just walked in. Giv:Ok babe. See u at 1pm Me:See u then......... We hung up. Me:Hello Doc. I hope uneendaba ezimnandi for me Doc:Well I cant say for now. But......... Me:oh come on Doc! Doc:Eeer we have ur tests back from the lab Miss Zibaya Me:And? Doc:You have Anxiety disorder Miss Zibaya and it is at its critical stage and thats why u have started these blackouts. You have been ignoring all the obvious symptoms so it has come to be very intense. Me:I do..dont understand Doc. Doc:Anxiety is the body’s natural response to danger, an automatic alarm that goes off when you feel threatened, under pressure, or are facing a stressful situation. Have u faced any any challenging situation lately? At home,school or.......? Me:No......I mean yes Doc. Doc:So that is the reason for your blackouts Miss Zibaya. Ill run one last test and then u will be ready to go by tomorrow, latest. He smiled at me. I faked a smile nam. Batsala ke amagazi noNurse bethetha ngala language yabo inamagama aquzileyo. Atleast Im going home ngomso. But Anxiety Disorder!!! Is that even a real illness? Mxim! After a while the Doc left wishing me to have a great day. I said bye to him then wemka. Nurse:Your food will be brought shortly Miss Me:Thank u. Ill bath first Nurse:You need any help? Me:No thank u. Ill manage nurse. She nodded. And told me uzozondichecka later xa eqikelela that Im done. I took my towels kwicabinet then ndayohlamba. I finished bathing ndabuyela ebhedini. They had put clean fresh sheets balungisa nebedi. I was tired of sleeping so ndahlala estulweni and logged in on Facebook. I couldnt believe my eyes, indaba ibingam and how I am a slut ngolala nomdikoni otshatileyo.One of my classmates even uploaded the video of my showdown with Namhla. My eyes filled with tears, I breathed heavily and it got more and more heavier and more rapid. I gasped air,ndashukuma but my legs werent allowing. I felt dizzy! Oh my goodness, Im having another anxiety attack...! Doc told me that xa ndibanazo I have to think happy toughts. That what I did, I thought of Mali and Given Minutes later I calmed down........I breathed in and out, in and out until my breathing pattern normalised. I logged out of Fb, I tried staying happy in my mind and it helped. My food came......it was Oats with syrup. I ate ndithe chu. Ibimnandi yazi shame. I finished then ndabukela itv. Belingasacothi ixesha. Ibisengu10 uyoze abethe nini u1 kufike umntu wam....Givy-Givs. Ndiye ndakhumbula la msg kaNamhla. Let me call her ndizova uba ufuna ukuthini It rang for ixesha elide.She must be at school. Mxim what was I thinki----- she picked up. Namy:Hello? Ilizwi lakhe belitshothoza Me:Hi. Are u crying? Namy:No *sniff* Me:Whats wrong Besty? Namy:Everything Nezile. Absolutely yonke into Me:Talk to me Namy:Can u come over to my house please? Me:I cant Namy:Please Besty I know I didn--- Me:Im in hospital. Namy:*shocked voice* haybo utheni? Me:Anxiety disorder. Namy:Ill be there shortly vah. Me:Ok. We hung up. Moments later she called Me:Hey. Namy:Which hospital chomi? I told her. We hung up again. 15mins passed, wafika uNamhla. Bendisahleli estulweni esisecaleni kwebedi. She hugged me. We broke it at looked at each other. Her eyes were red and puffy. She quickly looked away. Me:Whats wrong chomi? Namy:Akhonto wethu. Ubutheni walapha? Me:I passed out. Namy:Yho what happened? Me:okokuqala it was Monday after our......u know....I went with Given then uthi I passed out emotweni for 9hours but wandisa endlini yakhe. Namy:Yho chomi Im sorry. Its my fault. If i---- Me:No man akho lonto. Okwesibini well I was home. I dont know what happened(lie). Ndivuke sendilapha ke izolo. I left out ngebom what happened before my second blackout. Bendingamthembi ngoku. U cant blame me after the way she treated me with the whole Lange issue. Namy:Im sorry my friend. Me:Its ok. UDoc uthi uyandikhulula ngomso. Namy:great. She forced a smile then there was that awkward silence. We never had that silence ever oko saba zifriends. Me:U wanted us to talk? Namy:*teary eyes* Chomi I dont know how to tell u this. But u the only one I can tell Me:u know u can tell me anything chomi. Nawam amehlo ebegcwala zinyembezi. Ziyosulela kaloku. Niyasazi mos esastory salamama wabiza ilali yoke uba kuzothuthuzelwa umakhelwane wakhe, kanti all along uliliswa litswele lol. Namy:I know u didnt sleep with Lange my friend. Thats not your style. Thats mine Me:What do u mea---- Namy: Om Monday I was just angry at myself besty not at u qha ndayikhuphela kuwe. Me:Why were u angry at urself? Namy:*Giggled a little* uyijournalist nyani wena I giggled nam. Namy:I slept with Lange Me:WhaaaaAaat!!U slept with------ When? How? Namy:Shhhh keep it down. But thats not the worst part Heee hay uNamhla sana. Ulala nomdikoni wenkonzo, otshatileyo and uthi ayopart iworse leyo?? Ngoku mna ndiyibona iworse! Yho hay banezibindi ooNamhla bethuna Me:Whats the worst part ke? I wasnt sure I wanted to hear the worst part but kuba besendibuzile bendingazoba sathini. Namy:He....I..... Izibilini beziphezulu kum. Mmmh uNamhla angandixeleli into ezokwenza another attack. Or worse.......blackout! My phone rang..........*Given* Me:Hey Giv:Babe......Im free so Ill take my lunch hour now and come over if thats ok with u Me:Its.......uh yeah *cleared throat* Giv:Say yes please babe Im almost there Me:its ok .....yes Giv:Cool, see u now now. We hung up. Namhla was looking at me. Me:Given is coming Namy:Ok Me:uthi ebesekufutshane so khange ndikwazi ukwala Namy:Its ok friend. U dnt have to expalin. Uyamthanda nhe? Me:Ewe yho. Namy:Im happy for u. USizwe uthi naye uGiven uthi uyakuthanda I smiled. Wangena uGiven ephethe iteddy bear ezogqume ubuso kancinci ngayo andancuma yho!Caba ebesekufutshane nyani shame. Giv:Hey babe how are u feeling Me:Hey Im better Giv:Namsla how do u do? Namy:Good thank u. And u? Giv:Im alright. Namy:Mandihambe Besty Giv:Please dont leave on my account *watcho embambe egxeni* Namy:I was leaving. Right Nez *she winked at me* Me:Yes, yes she was. Namhla hugged me and kissed my cheek. Wemka ke. Giv:I missed u babe. He knelt infront of me and kissed my hands then my lips. We kissed for a long time then sayeka. Giv:I brought Mr Grizzly Me:I love him, thank u. I took it and hugged it lol. Siye sancokola ke ndamxelela what the Doc said Giv:U have to really take it easy baby. Me:I will........my mom came to visit this morning Giv:Really?? Ndamxelela ke what we talked about. Yonke into andashiya ni-is lo. Sathetha kancinci about that esithi mandingamjudge umama ngesigqibo sakhe ngenye iminI maybe shell make me understand why she upped and left. After that ke sancokola ezethu iindaba. Me:Babe I forget to ask. Giv:Ask away then Me:Whats ur surname? Giv wayihleka wade wanendawo etsalayo apha ekugqibeleni. I felt so shy lol Giv:Its been a whole week babe and u stIll dont know my origins Me:Come on! Giv:My surname is Kondlo Me:Ok then Given Kondlo Giv:Songezo Given Kondlo Me:Oh goodness, u have a Xhosa name? Giv:I told u woman, Im a Xhosa man I smiled. Even the way abiza ngayo uSongezo noKondlo shame lol. Me:So whats your line of work? Giv:Im a graphic designer Me:Ok then. We sat sizincokolela ke shame. Ihour iye yakhawuleza ukuphela sisa enjoya each others company. He promised to come back later. He kissed me then left. I went back to bed, bendifuna ukungqengqa. I wonder yinton le uNamhla ebezondixelela yona!!! I miss Mali yazi! I sent him a text. Mntase I miss u. Love u He replied emva kwe 30mins. Still at school sis wam. Well be coming over afterwards. Miss and love u too mntase *wafaka iemoticon eneelips* heeee we inoba uzoza noShelly........ Decided to take a nap ke ndikuloo mlindo! #Nezi
Posted on: Mon, 14 Jul 2014 08:22:46 +0000
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