British Hospital Stories. 1. A man dashes into the A&E dept.. - TopicsExpress



          

British Hospital Stories. 1. A man dashes into the A&E dept.. and yells . . My wifes going to have her baby in the taxi. I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the taxi, lifted the ladys dress and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly after protests from the lady I noticed that there were several taxis - - - and I was in the wrong one. Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald , St.. Andrews Hosp. Glasgow 2. At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patients anterior chest wall. Big breaths,. I instructed. Yes, they used to be,. . . replied the patient.. Submitted by Dr. Richard Barnes , St.Thomass Bath 3 One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her on her mobile phone reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a massive internal fart. Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg Royal London Hosp. 4. During a patients two week follow-up appointment, he told me that he was having trouble with one of his medications. Which one ?. . .. I asked. The patch; the Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now Im running out of places to put it! I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldnt see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions includes removal of the old patch before applying a new one. Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk & Norwich 5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked How long have you been bedridden? After a look of complete confusion she answered .Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was still alive... Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson- Maidenhead Royal Kent 6. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking up on a man I asked . . ... So how was your breakfast this morning? Its very good except for the Kentucky Jelly. I cant seem to get used to the taste.. . Bob replied. I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced a foil packet labelled KY Jelly. Submitted by Dr. Leonard J. Brandon . Bristol Infirmary. 7. A nurse was on duty in the A&E when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered . . It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for an immediate operation.. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read . .Keep off the grass Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patients dressing, which read Sorry . . . had to mow the lawn. Submitted by Staff Nurse RN Elaine Fogerty , KGH London Dr. wouldnt submit his name
Posted on: Wed, 20 Aug 2014 17:10:59 +0000

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