Broken, worn, lost, lonely, confused, empty, numb, tired, drained, and always sad. I have only 2 things in my life that keeps me somewhat sane. My 2 boys Preston Jones & Duncan Jones. They are all I have. I have been through many things in my life that I would never want another to ever experience that has unfortunately shaped and made me the way I am. Yes, many times I feel that I am at the end of my rope and its my boys that really are the only thing that keep me above it. The only things Ive been thankful for is my boys, I have a job, and a roof over my head. I have a few family members that arent too far but do I ever hear from them? Of course not. Communication goes both ways, but it has only been 1 way for 16 years. I gave up. The last time I did see or hear from them was a few years ago and it was only because I went to visit for a few days, just like it has been that way for the past 16 years. Also, friends who say they are friends really arent. They know your alone at holiday time, but they dont care cause they are too busy with their own families and real friends. I never asked for much in life, just the basics. Im not looking for sympathy and I dont want to hear Im here for you. Heard that shit too many times and no one ever really is there for me. Im not looking to see whos paying attention to this post, I just wanted this shit off my chest cause its painful to keep it inside all the time. Sorry if Im too negative and it bothers some, but this is how my life has been for years, especially during this time of year when many others feel happy or blessed. I cant keep how I feel inside anymore and it actually felt good to let this out.
Posted on: Sat, 30 Nov 2013 20:18:06 +0000
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