Building energy. Shouting inside building building building. Walls must collapse. The desire to share, greater than the fear of sharing. I must.The Great Mothers voice.Her strenght. Her will. Women and Men hear my heart message. Over the last little while, even last few months, there seems to be an enormous overwhelming rise in womens groups, feminine movements, advocacy etc. Not just within the spiritual context. Business, general health and wellbeing, economics. Everywhere. Everywhere I look. And I am stirred into a motivative reaction at the core of my being. An anger at it all. Frustration. But when I listen it is not anger. It is the mother, creation itself, a discerning strong loving message to her children. Do I even have the right to express this. What if Im wrong? No. Ahhh I feel it. I trust. After a rather confronting awakening at my first womans retreat this year I expirenced a very real reawakening to the drive for all the pain and all my true core fears. And it wasnt just mine. it was collective. I expirenced the most emotionally charged trauma or rather uncovering of stored perception as energy. Taking off the cloak. And there I fell. The submissive abused helplessness. Pain. So much. The horror. Before the flight or fight. And then a deeper level before the minds reaction. God the mind is innocent!. The flight and fight innocent chosen reactions.! No real words. Beyond my cognition. Id never been to this place.Never returned this far into myself. Physically this coexisted with the manifestation of a significant bowel obstruction (which passed and caused physical shock and trauma, awakening suppressed issues). It awakened my deep supressed feelings of abuse misuse obliviation. I felt alone and truly helpless in a raw sense for the first time. My mind and resourcefulness could not save me this time. I was in another country out of range and disconnected to the women of the group. Unsafe. Everything seemed so Alien. The energy did not resignate and without wanting to be judgemental their was a shallowness I felt towards what was happening around with the group. Not in line with the energy pit that has swallowed me. Where I was going. I know I had manifested these perceptions and expirence to take me where I needed to go. To awaken what needed to be awakened. I had asked for it. Yet I was not alone. In all that pain and fear, I felt I knew I was there for a reason. That a prayer had been heard. Beautiful grandmother Anna I could see and feel and hear more clearly than ever. And Joseph. I had never felt him. But he was there. And I remembered him. And almost seen as if physically there a beautiful black panther spirit. My mind judged this a little afterwards and even now I fear it sounds silly but I know she was real. I later found out her symbolism. It was perfect. So I lay there at night in a darkness that was not night. And I felt it all. And there She was. Oh God. The mother. The void. Whatever you call it. It was a power. A deep deep core power. Creation. The one true essence. Source. A power that could easily be anger. Or discernment. Or nuturing or loving. Power/energy at its most raw. Neutral yet so easily I can now see how it is misunderstood and misdelivered/expressed by ego and mind out of fear. There I was for the first time in my life beyond the flight/fight. At the doorway where ego and mind were born. At the doorway that also leads back to our truth. The core. The engine of reality. It was the strangest expirence to feel and yet such limited mental cognition/reaction. Whatever was unlocked within is only now teaching me/unfolding. I was impregnated with something deep. I fully accept most of it is beyond the mind. That is perfectly ok. For I feel it. She the dark core light showed me, communicating through higher perceptions beyond the mind. Through the pain she awakened me. Shook me. Reached out to me. I saw the pain and fear yet also the beautiful innocence of it. The truth. What is my message here my brothers and sisters. Facebook is not the most desired way, only a stepping stone for me, to begin to share. There is much more here. But please hear me now as I feel to speak and holding back is simply not a choice. Firstly this is not a go at groups connecting, or other movements and also conveys MY expirence and perception and felt truth. I love so I share my truth. I feel a little fearful and suprised at myself for sharing this and feeling what I do. I have longed for connection espically with the feminine/women etc. Felt Ive waited so long for it. Yet here I am embracing my fear (innocent illusion) of aloness/outcast as I express myself. Only last night I found myself shouting out.. I dont need a womans group!!! I AM woman enough. This is not a go at groups just a feeling that rose as I begin to feel more true and in love within myself. A greater connection and love. That in loving myself I am already connected. Im still feeling drawn to talk amoung and share with women. Of course. We all have a great journey home together!!! But I appreciate that it is with the masculine I have been connecting with more too. It has showen up more as the feminine truly emerges and is teaching me so much and awakening me further. For we are to walk this pathway as intended - whole and complete. Our truth. So, my expression of truth: Women (and men). You are awakening. You are remembering and reconnecting with your souls collective journeys. Bringing it together. Finally your soul and heart sing. But please do not be distracted. Whilst ritual and group gatherings support your awakening and widening perceptions, drumming and dancing and talking and connecting is not the Well to the core of your being you must fall into. It is just the beginning. Do not fall into the trap of untapped ego illusions (sticky points) that may have manifested long ago. They will be subtle. Share and connect yes. But keep moving. You have longed for this. This awakening calls us past all of what we have expirenced. We must fall. To the place it all begun. The core. The Father is awaiting our embrace with the dark deep core light and power of the mother. You must fall. Deep. Fear pain Anger abuse are just energies and misunderstandings of true power. It is TIME to fully own these beautiful creations and forgive. Women it is not about the patriarchial world. A part of me (forgive this crude wording) wants to shout, get over it. It was never an issue with men. It was all us. Men took on the role WE gave them/allowed them. Our brothers were serving US which in turn was serving them and in turn the Devine intention of deepening and expanding creation through expirencing the dream. Men this applies to the feminine within too. We are all one. In fact to reword...we all chose to abuse. Misuse. To like it. To forget. Its just a perception of power. Creation. Life. Source. Now we must feel it all. Embrace it. And awaken to the true reality of this source/power. Go further go deeper. I have been driven to share by what I thourght was anger at alot of things occuring as people awaken. But when I breathe and centre I feel Her. Life. Her desire for her children. She is being firm. She loves us and knows our truth. She is saying NOW. She wants no less for us, extensions of herself. Awaken my children you are on your way. Open to my power. Your power. Your truth . The One truth. Let it lead you home. Step past the distractions. Lifetimes and familar memories and illusions yoy would call truth. The many leaves on the great tree. Let them fall away. The pathway is greater and deeper. Fall into the truth. Your roots. Let the blackness absorb you. I reach out for you. Now fall. Into the soil of creation where you were born. ♡♥♡♥
Posted on: Sat, 12 Jul 2014 03:38:57 +0000
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