CAN A WOMAN BE ‘VIRTUOUSLY’ UNTRUSTED? Kate (not real name) is a friend of mine. We’ve known for more than 5 yrs now. I attend her church to do one or two things with her pastor. Kate was in a relationship with a banker named Ken (not real name), who was a member of her church. Every Member of the church was aware of this relationship. One day I and Kate chatted at her church on her forth coming wedding. I remember her telling me, “Brother Solomon, my wedding with Ken is going to be the best this church has and will ever witness.” I remember assuring her, “I can’t wait to be part of it!” As times past, I began noticing Kate absence in church until I ran to her one evening in her neighbourhood. I asked why she’s been absent from church. She made me believe she’s been busy with stuff. I queried when her wedding was coming up; that I remember her pastor teasing Ken that the church was waiting for his wedding announcement. She quickly interrupted, “what did he (Ken) reply the pastor?” “Oh, he said by May next year!” I responded. Kate was excited and bidded goodbye and left. The next thing I started hearing from sources was that Ken can’t marry Kate. I enquired to know why and was shocked at what I heard. KATE HAD OTHER MEN IN WHOM SHE’S HAVING INTIMACY WITH. As times past, I met Kate and pushed the discussion about her supposed coming wedding with Ken. She became reluctant in her response until she pleaded with me we should stop talking about her wedding with Ken. I threatened I’ll confront Ken on the issue. She begged and told me it wasn’t Ken but some ‘bad’ people in the church. Being dissatisfied with what she said, I asked a close pal of hers who told me the whole truth and that the so called ‘bad’ people were right. She pushed further, “they saw Ken as a decent man who doesn’t deserve what Kate (lifestyle) was doing and felt it was wrong for Ken to marry Kate. Ken respected their views and withdrew the wedding plans.” She confided. After few months, Kate called and she told me about her wedding plans with Roy (not real name). I was happy for her. Roy lives in Togo but a Nigerian too. As we began plans about her wedding, she took us (I and a friend who was with me) to a pharmacy store. While I waited, she chatted with this friend in their local dialect and told her the guy who owns the pharmacy was her intimate boyfriend. When this friend of hers inquired if the pharmacy boyfriend knows she wants to get married. She answered he doesn’t even have an idea. This friend advised her to be careful and reminded her it was a wrong thing to do. We departed. When this friend of mine told me, I was angry and I remember telling her Roy won’t marry her. She demanded to know why. I told her it was wrong of her to date Peter and having plans to marry Paul. Even if the guy was afar from her doesn’t give her the right to do such and that she should know even if Roy doesn’t know about her waywardness that God knows and will fight for Roy’s innocence. Two weeks later, (even though I was reluctant to call her) I called and asked how far the supposed wedding plans but she said it was on hold. Several months past and till date, Kate remains unmarried and come up with this excuse that men are bad and the same. The last time we saw, she joked that she wasn’t growing any younger and was bold enough to unveil her age to me. She will be marking her 40th birthday in three months time. MY OBSERVATIONS It is now a normal phenomenon for a lady to have more than a guy she’s dating or in a relationship with. I received a news this morning (which is why am writing this article); about a guy who’s planning wedding with a sister I know very well. When I was told she’s having up to four guys excluding the guy she’s planning wedding with in serious intimacy relationships, I was dumbfounded. I summoned her immediately and she confirmed. I didn’t want to ask why but just told her we’ll talk some other time. As I began to meditate about this anomaly, it dawned on me how many men I’ve encountered who say TRUST is missing in their relationships. Am talking about men who are doing well in their respective businesses/careers.” Solomon, see I’ve made up my mind to go ahead and marry; one thing I’ll not fail to do is to confirm paternity of the baby after delivery because women these days are not to be trusted;” says one interviewee. GOD CAN’T BE MOCKED Even if the lady is having more than one serious relationships, she may succeed in deceiving her ‘man’ but can’t deceive God. The story above about Kate says it all. She deceived Roy but God made sure Roy never married her. She outsmarted Ken but the eyes of other church members were opened to her deceptive act and she lost out on Ken. Today Ken and Roy are happily married. The bible says “Be not deceived, God cannot be mocked, whatsoever a man’s sows that he shall also reap.” (Galatians 6:7). Go ahead and have fun but know God is looking at you and can’t be mocked, he will withdraw the fellow whose heart is right towards him from you and you’ll have your fill. I know women would say men are the masters of such game, yes they are. Infact I have heard that, times unnumbered about men being promiscuous in nature. Women who have taken racing promiscuity with men would now be called what? I welcome your answers. Remember: to be virtuously untrusted is unfeminine related, what would women say to their daughters who will grow up to hear of their promiscuity? Can a woman be virtuously untrusted? Readers, your comments are most welcomed. Cheers. To be continued with REAL LIFE RELATIONSHIPS STORIES series
Posted on: Sun, 25 Jan 2015 14:39:55 +0000
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