CELEBRATING GODs BLESSED 10th YEARS OF MARRIAGE. Life has taught me many things including love (eros). I had dreamed the dream to make all the beautiful women in the world mine. Though I know the impossibility but my heart yearns for the possibility. In 1998 when I started my theological inquiry, I was a frequent goer to Kovalam beach in Trivandrum, Kerala. There, I experienced strange foreign beauties which were erotic to my eyes. I was excited at the same I felt weird, low and I became impolite to my milieu. The beauty of those women haunted my mind making me unsociable. I felt like an outcast there. Slowly I began to tame myself while confronting these strange foreign beauties. I developed a new outlook for myself to see them as an object of beauty like the way I watch the wide beautiful Arabian Sea. This new outlook goes on well till I was approached by those strange foreign beauties. When they came and sat close beside me, this new outlook I had employed on myself began to die off eventually. The more I tried to keep my mind off of those strange foreign beauties it came to my mind more forcefully. I meditated, prayed, read the Bible but in vain. Next, I tried to look at them from the perspective of God (God looking at Adam and Eve). This approach never really did work out and slowly I understood that I was not God in the first place. Finally, I developed another perspective, which is to see those strange foreign beauties as God’s creation. I learned that I can be thankful and be happy looking at those strange foreign beauties as wonderful God’s creation. There is little problem and the problem is that I have to be always aware and guard my thought from straying away. But this approach did work out for me. After some years, as I was nearing to the end of my teenage years, I began to learn about my soft heart for good and smart women. I wanted to be around them. I fall in love with them for thousand times thought I didn’t express my love to all of them. And it was a never ending falling in love. Like someone said love hurts, it hurt me several time. Slowly I began to hate my heart. I tried to control my heart and feelings but it always falls. Therefore, I began to search my heart for an answer. I thought and thought but the answer never came to me. Through God’s grace and blessing life experiences slowly began to teach me. It was in 2001, I was shopping at Brigade Road, Bangalore, I loved to buy the entire glittering thing I saw, but my conscience stopped me saying, “Marc, if you buy all these stuff you will have no money to return home.” I panicked at this thought. Therefore, I start striking off the shopping list on my mind. I started to console myself to be contented that many of the things I wanted had been bought before and is at home. Finally, it narrowed down to some few music Cassettes. This incident slowly taught me that I can be contended if I want and stay contended with what I have. I experienced a real freedom in my life. I am happy and blessed for this workable formula in one part of my life. But am I safe always? No. Even after married? A big NO! But I can always look into those strange beauties as God’s beautiful creation and be thankful; I can remind myself that I can be contended. And whenever I meet any good women in my life I develop them into a charity called “Blatonic Love”, a composite of Platonic love and Biblical love. Having such a lovely feeling, I can pray for them wholeheartedly and be there for them when they need me. Above all, share the love of Christ. In this way God has been blessing my life and my family. I give glory and honour to my living God for His grace and sustaining our life and giving us meanings in our 10th years of marriage.
Posted on: Fri, 28 Mar 2014 16:52:03 +0000
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