CHANGING A LIGHT BULB THE CHRISTIAN WAY HOW MANY CHRISTIANS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB? CHARISMATIC: ONLY ONE. HANDS ALREADY IN THE AIR. PENTECOSTAL: TEN. ONE TO CHANGE THE BULB AND NINE TO PRAY AGAINST THE SPIRIT OF DARKNESS. PRESBYTERIANS: NONE. LIGHTS WILL GO ON AND OFF AT PREDESTINED TIMES. ROMAN CATHOLIC: NONE. CANDLES ONLY. BAPTISTS: AT LEAST 15. ONE TO CHANGE THE LIGHT BULB AND THREE COMMITTEES TO APPROVE THE CHANGE PLUS DECIDE WHO BRINGS THE POTATO SALAD AND FRIED CHICKEN. EPISCOPALIANS: THREE. ONE TO CALL THE ELECTRICIAN, ONE TO MIX THE DRINKS AND ONE TO TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH BETTER THE OLD ONE WAS. MORMONS: FIVE. ONE MAN TO CHANGE THE BULB AND FOUR WIVES TO TELL HIM HOW TO DO IT. UNITARIANS: WE CHOOSE NOT TO MAKE A STATEMENT EITHER IN FAVOR OF OR AGAINST THE NEED FOR A LIGHT BULB. HOWEVER, IF IN YOUR OWN JOURNEY YOU HAVE FOUND THAT LIGHT BULBS WORK FOR YOU, THAT IS FINE. YOU ARE INVITED TO WRITE A POEM OR COMPOSE A MODERN DANCE ABOUT YOUR LIGHT BULB FOR THE NEXT SUNDAY SERVICE, IN WHICH WE WILL EXPLORE A NUMBER OF LIGHT BULB TRADITIONS, INCLUDING INCANDESCENT, FLUORESCENT, THREE-WAY, LONG-LIFE AND TINTED, ALL OF WHICH ARE EQUALLY VALID PATHS TO LUMINESCENCE. METHODISTS: UNDETERMINED. WHETHER YOUR LIGHT IS BRIGHT, DULL, OR COMPLETELY OUT, YOU ARE LOVED. YOU CAN BE A LIGHT BULB, TURNIP BULB, OR TULIP BULB. CHURCH WIDE LIGHTING SERVICE IS PLANNED FOR SUNDAY. BRING BULB OF YOUR CHOICE AND A COVERED DISH.
Posted on: Wed, 26 Mar 2014 23:49:37 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015