CHOOSING THE NEW SCOTTISH LABOUR LEADER - DEMOCRACY IN ACTION by Elle Ection (our Political Editor) In a scathing attack on the Nationalistics, wunder-kind and caretaker leader of the glorious organisation that is the Scottish Labour Party, Anus Sarwar, has condemned them for their lack of democracy. When their leader resigned, said Sarwar, the Nationalistics immediately appointed Nicolas Sturgess as their leader without so much as a bye-or-leave. No ballots were cast, and she was crowned without so much as a raising of hands in the snug of the Red Lion in Invertavish. It is clear, Sarwar said, his voice now reaching a crescendo, that the Nationalistics have no concept at all about democracy - not even amongst their own party faithful [you mean poor deluded Nationalistic fools - Ed]. They [the Nationalistics] simply appoint someone as their Leader and thats it. At this point Sarwar started leaping up and down animatedly, jabbing his right index finger repeatedly at the Daily Rancid reporter. He then adopted a much softer tone, and smiled, almost one might say, in a Mandelsonian sort of way and began to purr. Whereas we in North Britain Branch of the Labour Party are committed democrats. We are leaving the field as open and as long as possible for any candidates [here Sarwar looked around, his eyes glazing over slightly], erm ... I repeat ANY candidates [Sarwar swallowed hard and sweat started to bead his forehead and his voice became shriller], ANY candidates to become our Leader. We at the Daily Rancid are keen to promote any such outstanding candidate to the post of Leader of the North Britain Branch of the Labour Party. In furthering this noble ideal we at the Daily Rancid will be awarding the victor in the subsequent election to this august position - and a mere heartbeat away from being First Minister of our glorious region of Scotia, a special prize. To this end therefore, the Daily Rancid is proposing to reward the winner with a special chalice manufactured and supplied by Poysons Ltd, the well-known toxicologists from Motherwell.
Posted on: Mon, 27 Oct 2014 22:45:34 +0000
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