COMMUNICATION BARRIERS While there are many barriers to effective communication, Thomas Gordon, an expert on interpersonal communication, has identified 12 of the most common ones. These “conversation stoppers” are almost guaranteed to block the flow of communication between individuals, and can even end friendships! How many do you recognize? Criticizing. Making a negative evaluation of the other person’s actions or attitudes. “You brought it on yourself; you’ve got nobody else to blame for the mess you’re in,” or “Can’t you do anything right?” Name-calling. Putting down or stereotyping the other person. “You hardhats are all alike,” or “What a dope!” or “Just like a woman,” or “You’re really dumb.” Diagnosing. Analyzing why a person is behaving a certain way; playing amateur psychiatrist. “You’re just doing that to irritate me,” or “I know just what is wrong with you,” or “Just because you went to college, you think you’re better than I am.” Praising evaluatively. Being too nice by saying things about a person that are excessive or aren’t really true. “You’re perfect,” or “You’re the best typist in the world,” or “I’ve never seen anything like that report— really fabulous.” Ordering. Commanding the other person to do what you want to have done. “I want you to do this report right now. Why? Because I said so!” or “Get these letters out right now and take your break later.” Threatening. Attempting to control the actions of others by warning of negative consequences. “If we don’t get along better, I’m going to tell Mr. Smith about you,” or “You’ll finish that report tonight or else!” or “Just come in late again and see what happens.” Moralizing. Telling another person what to do or “preaching” what you believe is right or proper. “You shouldn’t get a divorce; think about what will happen to the children,” or “You ought to tell him you’re sorry,” or “You can do much better than that if you try.” “Bully” questioning. Asking questions that are often conversation stoppers because the response must be a forced yes or no. “Are you sorry you did it?” or “Well, weren’t you supposed to know that before you attended the meeting?” or “You mean you didn’t take the report with you?” Unwelcome advising. Giving the person a solution to a problem even when the person didn’t ask for one. “If I were you, I’d sure tell her off!” or “That’s an easy one to solve—first you...,” or “What you need to do is go to night school.” Diverting attention. Pushing the other person’s problems aside through distraction. “Don’t dwell on it, Sarah; let’s talk about something more pleasant,” or “You think you’ve got it bad—let me tell you what happened to me!” Logical argumentation prematurely. Attempting to convince the other person with an appeal to facts or logic without knowing the factors involved. “Look at the facts: if you hadn’t left work early the other afternoon, we would have finished the report and Ms. Smith wouldn’t be upset,” or “By devoting 20 minutes to opening the mail in the morning and concentrating on getting all your typing done before lunch, you should be able to spend every afternoon on changing the files over.” False reassuring. Trying to stop the other person from feeling negative emotions. “Don’t worry, it’s always darkest before the dawn,” or “It will all work out okay in the end,” or “There’s no point in
Posted on: Wed, 09 Oct 2013 19:33:41 +0000
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