COMMUNICATION, MARRIAGE AND GOD Relationships in need of reconciliation require communication. Our relationship with Heavenly Father requires reconciliation. Therefore, it requires communication with Heavenly Father. This is achieved through prayer. Our prayers must not be repetitious, but sincere dialogues with the Father seeking His will in all things. It also requires us to present plans of action for His approval. Communication builds mutual understanding of what is required by each party to a relationship requiring reconciliation. The Lord has put forward his expectations in the Lords Prayer. In return, we can ask for confirmation of our plans to achieve these expectations along our plans to fulfill those covenants in which we have obligated ourselves. Relationships are the foundation of the Gospel. It is upon relationships that the Kingdom of God is built. The Kingdom of God is not an organization, it is a family. Our relationships with each and every member of the human family is important. The most important of these relationships is the one we have with our Heavenly Father. The power of prayer is heightened through scripture study, meditation, fasting and repentance. We must cultivate a sensitivity to sin while at the same time respecting and bearing patiently in our relationships with sinners. Relationships should not be abandoned for light and transient causes, especially where a covenant relationship exists. Covenants entered into can only be dissolved by the author of those covenants. A common law marriage usually only has two parties, the spouses. If a Church or other organization marries these parties, then a third is admitted. However, in order for it to constitute a common law marriage, the third party is neither a civil nor divine authority. These marriages are dissolved by the parties themselves. When a civil marriage is performed, the civil authority becomes a party to that marriage. The civil authority represents the will and values of society. Essentially, the third party regulates the terms of the marriage contract. In the case of a civil marriage, it is society and societys values that regulate the marriage, and the dissolution thereof, between individuals. In a temple marriage, the third party is the Lord who offers the new and everlasting covenant of marriage. The third party offers the covenant and, therefore, it takes an act of the third party to dissolve the covenant. The other parties may not act on their own without permission from the third party. “If a person is sufficiently faithful and proven in this world, the time might come either in mortality or in eternity when he or she will be given an unconditional promise of eternal life.” – Stephen R. Covey I do not believe a man and woman having entered into the new and everlasting covenant of marriage are justified in divorcing without the new and everlasting covenant of marriage being dissolved by an act of God (i.e., excommunication). Therefore, spouses should abide in the covenant of marriage until a spouse is either excommunicated or one no longer loves a spouse enough to care about the salvation or exaltation of the spouse, whichever comes last. We may not deliberately abandon our familial duties for light or transient causes and without permission from the Lords representatives to do so. The Lord offered a new and everlasting covenant of marriage and, in accepting it, one also accepts that only the Lord can dissolve it. Failure to abide in the covenant otherwise is to forfeit the blessings affixed to the new and everlasting covenant of marriage. Common law and civil marriages can be just as successful as celestial marriages. They can be filled with as much love as a celestial marriage. The problem arises in the third party. False authorities cannot guarantee these relationships beyond the grave. Only the Lord can. If we want everlasting relationships with our husbands, wives and children, if we want them with other members of the human family and if we want them with a future spiritual posterity in the eternities to come, there is only one marriage, in which if we abide, that lasts forever. Like any covenant, a commitment to live up to the marriage covenant is necessary before entering into it. If one is not prepared to abide in the new and everlasting covenant without an act from the Lord dissolving it (i.e., excommunication of a spouse), then one really should not enter into the marriage covenant. Failure to abide in the marriage covenant over light or transient causes forfeits the blessings of eternity. “Those who hesitate and vacillate in uncertainty and indecision and fear, who are unable to make a commitment or a promise because of their past experiences and habits, cannot be effective servants of the Lord. They are too much servants or slaves to their own futile ways, to environmental pressures, to their passions, appetites, and unrighteous desires.” – Stephen R. Covey Why do people wait to enter into the marriage covenant? Past experience with dating may have made them overly cautious. Maybe they have unrighteous desires often putting the cart before the horse. Maybe they are too focused on having a family and less on doing the will of the Lord. They have sought all things that are too be added upon them before having sought the Kingdom of God. These individuals have failed to plan properly. They hold out for the “perfect” mate. They are waiting for the “highest bidder.” Set a proper course: 1. Celestial Marriage, 2. Mastering the respective marital roles, 3. Preparing each other for familial roles and 4. Rearing children. Failure to prioritize results in putting the things of the world before the things of the Lord. Marriage is first and foremost about saving and exalting our spouse. This is not to say that having a family is not important or that it is not a commandment of the Lord. It is only to say that all things must be done in their proper order. Find a temple worthy companion, or one who can be made worthy, and marry in the temple. Once marital roles have been mastered, prepare each other to fulfill the familial roles. Husbands, help your wives build a proper home. Wives, help your husbands provide for a home. Sire only as many children for which can be comfortably raised and provided. It is not expedient that parents run faster than they can. Husbands, be respectful of the procreative function and a wifes ability to raise all the children sired. Wives, be respectful of the providential function and a husbands ability to financially support all the children sired. Remember that an eternal increase is promised to all who enter and abide in the new and everlasting covenant of marriage. Do not be heart broken if one is unable to have all or any of the children one would like to have in this life. One cannot have children at all, either in this life or the life to come, if by holding out for the highest bidder one fails to obtain the marriage covenant. “Part of the preparation process is to sit down first and count the cost. Part of the process of meditating and listening...is to count the cost to see if we have sufficient to finish the job. If we feel we do, we commit ourselves.” – Stephen R. Covey As stated previously, if one is not prepared to commit to the marriage covenant, to abide in the marriage covenant until an act of the Lord dissolves it (i.e., excommunication of a spouse), then one should not enter into the marriage covenant. It is not for spouses to decide, having entering into a covenant with the Lord, when to dissolve those covenants. Violations of the covenant by a spouse does not constitute authorization for a unilateral dissolution of the covenant. All disputes that cannot be resolved privately between spouses should be resolved privately before the Church. Divorce should not be an option unless a spouse has been excommunicated from the Church and the marriage covenant has been dissolved by the Lords representatives. For those who fail to abide in the marriage covenant and who preempt the Lord in a decision to divorce, the following rules should apply: 1. Husbands who put away their wives legally for any reason other than a serious transgression have abandoned their familial duties. They forfeit custody of children and are liable for child support as well as all divorce fees. Depending on the ability of a spouse to provide for herself, the husband is liable for alimony. 2. Wives who divorce their husbands legally for any reason other than a serious transgression have abandoned their familial duties. They have no claim upon their husbands and should not be allowed to marry anew in the new and everlasting covenant of marriage. She may reconcile herself to her husband or remain unmarried. She forfeits custody of children and is liable for divorce fees. Depending on whether the wife was the provider of the family, the wife may be liable for child support and alimony. Neither husband who puts his wife away nor wife who divorces her husband is abiding the new and everlasting covenant of marriage without a dissolution of it by the Lord. They are effectively abandoning their familial duties and they can have no increase in the life to come. Sanctify spouses who live in sin. Do not engage in sin with them. Just as the Lord sanctifies us in our relationship with him, we too can sanctify spouses by living worthy of our marriage covenants. Do you love your wife? Sanctify her. Do you love your husband? Sanctify him. If one does not have sufficient to sanctify a spouse living in sin, seek a dissolution of the marriage covenant by the Lord before legally divorcing. Then, when one finds a new eternal companion, one can be sealed for time and all eternity. Do not fret should one be found upon the death bed without the marriage covenant. So long as one is worthy of the new and everlasting covenant and done all either to enter into or live by the marriage covenant despite the outcome, the Lord will provide a way to obtain it either in this life or the life to come.
Posted on: Sat, 16 Nov 2013 21:09:05 +0000