COPPER (THE WONDER DOG) WELCOMES RIDGEWOOD N.J.S BEAR!!! Book Five in the Beloved Copper (Der Vunderhund) Trilogy...***With the new special incredible canine translation special ingredient*** (Patent Pending, all rights reserved, licensing applications to be sent to Fraumanns Corporate Tax Inversion Corporation Ltd., Cayman Islands (or Paraguay if things get hot)...check, money order, (or, h#ll, just send your credit card number) Special Offer if you act within the next 30 minutes you will receive my special booklet, Penultimately in the Top 1% Subtitled Tax Inversion!!! How You Too Can Escape All Financial Responsibility To The Society Which Nurtured, Educated, And Protected You, And Built The System Over 200 Years Including The Blood Of Some Of Your Forebears In War And Allowed Your Corporation To Succeed--But Screw It Co-authored by Ben Fraumann and Ayn Rand. Now to the Story (which includes my new special incredible canine translation special ingredient-- 27 seconds left if you want the booklet) Chapter 72 (or is it 73, I forget, whatever) BREAKING NEWS!!! A 300 lb. BEAR IS SEEN IN INCREDIBLY UPSCALE RIDGEWOOD N.J. WHERE BEARS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE BUT IF ONE SHOWS UP HELICOPTERS FLY AROUND FOR HOURS WHILE UNNERVED RESIDENTS HOPE IT CAN BE TRANQUILIZED WITH QUALUDES (or maybe melatonin) AND THEN SHIPPED TO RINGWOOD N.J. WHERE THE RESIDENTS ARE USED TO THEM AND BESIDES RINGWOOD HAS (ugh) SEPTIC SYSTEMS WHICH HARDLY COUNTS AS CIVILIZATION ANYWAY SO NO SENSE SENDING HELICOPTERS TO RINGWOOD OR GIVING THEM TELEVISION COVERAGE BECAUSE IF RINGWOOD GOT TELEVISION COVERAGE WHEN A BEAR SHOWED UP THERE WOULD ALWAYS BE HELICOPTERS AND IT MIGHT SCARE AWAY THE COYOTES WHICH WOULD BRING IN ALL KINDS OF ENVIORNMENTALIST TREE HUGGER TYPES AND THERE WOULD BE HELL TO PAY. BESIDES, WHO CARES ABOUT RINGWOOD, ANYWAY? (Editors note: possibly this chapter title needs some work...) (15 seconds left to get the booklet) So, if you remember (gentle reader) in the last chapter (which has a somewhat longer yet unedited title) the celebrity couple of Copper (Dog so Wonderous It Boggles the Mind) and Lassie finally... well... it broke the hearts of millions of loyal and fairly addicted readers... but... as Copper (D. of Wonder and Also of Comfort) told Channel 12 (what with the Bear Helicopter Breaking News Story)... and here we get the special incredible canine translation special ingredient-- nine seconds left if you want the booklet... WOOF! +++(Lassie is a beauty and we will remain good friends, but, man, that chick was just too high maintenance-- did I ever tell you about the time Fraumann tried to get me to fetch? Good God) THEN... the News 12 Television Report, with phenomenal urgency about the biggest breaking news story of all time (dont forget the eyewitness helicopters) tells Copper (Hound of Imagination and Sleek Muscular Beauty (((not unlike his master)))) that the bear now moved to Ringwood out of Ridgewood (confusing isnt it? I mean, if Ringwood had any gumption it would buy a couple of letters for its name but what can you expect from a place that has septic systems?) that this bear... OMG... weighed THREE HUNDRED POUNDS!!!!! Copper (who hopes you remember about getting the booklet so his master will continue giving him the FULL can of Alpo instead of half mixed with that inedible dry sh!t) replied to the News 12 Broadcaster WOOF! +++(300 pounds? ZZZZZZZZZZ) Now, the plot thickens........
Posted on: Fri, 03 Oct 2014 19:50:54 +0000
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