*****Calling all women looking to drop a few lbs & all toddler mommies that want extra free time & extra cash in the bank!!**** So Ive been hearing from a few friends that Ive lost weight. Its true Ive dropped all but 7lbs of my Ella Weight. Everyone keeps asking me how I FINALLY dropped the extra weight Ella is coming up on 14 months now! Well guys Im here to tell you I participated in a fabulous weight loss program& Ive recently even become a sales rep for this program. I cant tell you how excited I am to share this new and completely natural weight loss opportunity with all of my lovely mommy friends! I cant keep this to myself for a minute more. Because not only have I lost a ton of weight, its also provided my family with another income for our house hold. Ive even recently started to notice the alone time. Sound to good to be true? This weight loss method has been around since the beginning of time. Eve likely took the same approach after her and Adam had their first born! She needed to get back into her pre baby leaf size because Oak-session hit the run soon! So are you ready ladies? Ready to find out what my secret is & how you too can reap the benefits of this amazing program? You wont believe me when I tell you but, Its called chasing a one year old around every day! Your body is constantly in motion! You also move ways you didnt think were humanly possible because toddlers are made of rubber bands & silly string! Im not making that up, google it! The only time they keep still for longer than a nano second is when they are unconscious, so unless your husbands an anesthesiologist youre out of luck! Mine even moves in her sleep its uncanny! That eliminates the whole Eating healthy issue completely. This is because you no longer have time to eat at ALLL. Youre wanting some scrambled eggs for breakfast? Youre funny!!! You have a toddler to dress! Guess what those things move like Jackie Chen. Its like trying to dress 10 monkeys on crack in the morning! The crack like symptoms may have something to do with the coffee milk & copes amounts of sugar I add. This is all while she screams at the top of her lungs like a Beeb fan at s concert! Oh wait you put it in the wrong sippy! Screaming then escalades and you wonder when the Cast Director of Don Giovanni will show up to offer her a lead part! On the rare occasion when you think youve beaten father time at his cruel game of hide the minutes , You allow yourself to go to a deep & evil place & you dare to think you may have time for a pop-tart (minus the toaster). Its at this exact moment you realize you arent wearing any pants & The corporate meeting this am started 25 mins ago. Got your attention yet? With this program the lbs are guaranteed to slide right off you & even off of the face of the world, much like your sanity but dont worry they dont charge for loss of sane thoughts! Now you know how to lose the weight but how do you get a fatter bank account & more alone poop time you ask? LADIES of toddlers listen closely! You my friends have the cash cow! This is how it works! Now stay with me here, because its do easy it seems crazy! All you have to do is put your toddler on loan! Wait! What? Put my toddler on loan, what are you talking about? Let me break it down for you lovely ladies. This is where women who havent, dont wanna, or can no longer have children come into play! These woman for which ever reason dont have readily available toddlers to drive them crazy, I mean skinny but they do have readily available lbs to lose! So what it breaks down is we allow these women to borrow our toddlers for an allotted amount of time & we charge a fee for the use of said toddler! Two birds with 1 stone! With more free time comes more money. The more you loan the more you make its really that simple ladies. So to all my toddler wrangling friends Dont delay loan your toddler away! And to the toddlerless women out there dont waste another minute or dollar on programs and supplements that dont work & leave you feeling defeated an worthless Dont sit in your sorrow, borrow tomorrow! Fine print: $99 start up fee required at sign up time. Loaner of toddler and borrow of toddler must compose contract & all involved parties must agree to all terms & conditions All contracts valid in Judge Judy like court rooms nation wide & all court rooms in every state that elected Obama the second term! For the one fruit loop dingus who believes this bc yes im that good you owe me an alone poop:) #mommyoftoddler #lovehertodeath #myminime
Posted on: Sun, 17 Aug 2014 04:41:31 +0000
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