Cancer “Survivor” “Kinahora !” By Nancy Radin Blog # 4 “Cancer survivor” is a term I try hard not to use. I must confess, I didn’t give the phrase much thought until I got cancer, and heard other patients complain about the wording in several support groups I went to. At first, I thought they were stuck on silly terminology, which at the time seemed trivial in light of the gravity of their situations. But the longer I listened, the better I understood how such simple wording could weigh so heavily upon one’s self-esteem and sense of well-being. The first time I ever recall hearing the word “survivor” was as a child, and it was in reference to the “Holocaust”. According to the dictionary definition, it means “one who has remained alive after an event has ended, an event in which others have died”. However, when coupled with the word “cancer”, it’s an edgy combination of words. As I have learned, it can be a phrase loaded with the potential to create negative implications about the people who do not survive, or know that they are not going to. It can cause people, who have no reason to, to feel guilty, as if their attitudes were not positive enough; they didn’t try hard enough, or didn’t seek enough proper medical attention. When, in fact, they may have done everything just right, and sheer “luck” may be the only issue at play. Many people continue to live with cancer simply because they are lucky. They are lucky to have found their cancer early and in time, lucky to have a strong immune system, or lucky to have found the right doctors and the right treatment for the kind of cancer they have. That’s not in ANY way to diminish the crucial and important role of outstanding doctors or treatment centers. However, even some of their patients die…the “unlucky” ones. On this website, the words “Living Beyond Statistics” were carefully chosen for that purpose. We try, whenever possible, to use terms like “beating your odds”, “living with cancer”, or “surviving” instead of “survivor”. The word “surviving” is a present participle, an ING-word, and a word that connotes something still in progress, as opposed to claiming victory over it. Many cancer patients I know prefer its use, because in reality we are all living with cancer, a non-curable, and never-really-know-for-sure-if-it’s-gone-disease. Some of us will die from the disease; some will get hit by a bus instead, or meet their maker in other ways. Even under the very best of circumstances, none of us ever really knows, for sure, if cancer is in remission, completely and totally gone, or if and when it will ever rear its ugly head again. Finally, there are those of us who throw everything we can imagine at cancer. I’m Jewish, tempting fate is known as a “Kinahora” in Yiddish, or announcing a win over something before it has happened. Many consider this a sure way for situations to backfire. As a rule, many Jews do not use/make “Kinahoras”. When we catch ourselves uttering one by mistake, we immediately shout out the word “Kinahora” and knock on the nearest piece of wood (whatever it may be), throw salt over our shoulders, or make a rapid fire double spitting sound on our fore and middle fingers (like Tevye’s wife in “Fiddler on the Roof”). I choose to acknowledge the disease, respect its power, and count my blessings every day. As those of us who have the disease know, we need to load the deck with everything working in our favor. And, for some of us that includes, what others may consider, mere or silly superstitions, as well. Copyright 2013
Posted on: Thu, 20 Jun 2013 19:13:19 +0000
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